You know the thing about MSN nicknames? Sometimes, they are like little storybooks that despict the life and times of a person. Everytime their nicks change, I chuckle along.

It's cute enough that I have very very young cousins using MSN.

It's damn cute that they even bothered to add me on MSN.

It's EVEN cuter that their nicknames are like, "Oh why do I still like him after all this while?" and "I don't know what to do now that she is not talking to me now..". The first nickname belongs to a girl cousin and the second one belongs to a guy cousin respectively.

It was only yesterday that I layan-ed them when they wanted to play masak-masak with me or toy soldiers... eh wait, that was MY generation. It was only yesterday that I layan-ed them when they wanted to play Crash Bandicoot on PSOne with me.

So I observed the boy cousin's nickname for sometime. "(girl's name).. I can't believe after everything I've done, you've blocked me on MSN?" The poor boy really sounds heartbroken! But damn, aren't kids pretty vocal with their emotions these days?

Then there was once the girl cousin's nickname read, "I really like this guy.....".

*sigh* Yes, I used to do that alot too when I had ICQ. You remember the Info/About section where you could type whatever you want? I used to fill it with non-descript little poems that go something like this:

I come to school early to see your face,
Your presence left me in such a daze,
Dreaming that one day you will be mine,
The day when the stars align.

And I was 12.

Heh.

I mean I KNOW I should be sympathetic that my little cousins are going through rough patches in their boy girl relationships.. but I find it so cute that they now like the opposite sex! Yay!

At least they have MSN to express themselves these days. When I was much much younger, say about 8 years old, my mother gave me this little First Aid box which was made out of wood with a door that could be locked. I used to put all kinds of crap inside and would beat my brother up when he took my toys out of the box. (the key was not very difficult to find. It was usually put underneath the box.)

I even wrote a love letter in horrible magic colour pens to the boy who bullied me in class. I kept it in that first aid box, waiting for the right time to give it to the boy. I think it went something like,

"Dear Jin Yang(yes, if you know some top scorer in SAM Taylors 2005, that's him.),
I think you should know that I like you. I wonder if you like me too?"

My mother found the letter and read it out to me with a naughty smirk on her face. I was so embarrassed but pretended to be nonchalant about it.

Rewind another 2 years back, I woke up from my afternoon nap and told my mum,
"Mummy, I've made up my mind to tell Ho Hoi Yew that I like him! Yes, I think I will do it tomorrow."
And my mum just layan-ed and said, "Okay!"

LOL. I didn't though.

In fact, the first time I used the internet to get in contact with my crush, I got accused of being a stalker.

Me: Hi!! It's me, Pei Shan. From your class..!"
Barry: What are you, a stalker?

And when the Zhhhhnnnng chime from the ICQ alert stating that the "user has authorized me" rang through my speakers, my heart clenched in anticipation.

We were waiting for our UPSR results at that time somemore. LOL.

And yes, it's the same Barry(you can find him on my friends' links) we all know and love now. To my blogger friends, yea it is Suet Li's Barry.

Truth be told, I never hated the opposite sex. I never got into the whole "ew, boys are icky." phase.

I've always been one of those sad little hormones raging youngling who held a candle to any little boy who was taller than me. My young mind used to make little conclusions that as long as a boy is taller than me, he is worth my crush.

And I'd make little fantasies of us living life as husband and wife.
The obligatory wedding fantasy.
What kind of children we will have.
The scene where he'd be with me at the delivery room during the birth of our first child.

Just because those boys were taller than me.

I'm so the cheap.:P

At age 11, I already knew how to be jealous. A girl called Sze Wern and Barry had this thing going on and I was always shit pissed. I would think of horrible things that I could do to her and look at her with as much anger as I could muster and tried to channel it to her via telephatic messages. Hehehe.

At that time, I have not graduated to farting in faces, shoving shoulders and evil catty comments as methods of revenge.

I suppose the types of BGR vary according to the individual's age.

Like for example, I don't remember any girls of 13 years of age and below screaming, "HE's SUCHHHHHH a bastard." when it comes to getting their hearts broken.

That phrase is used ALOT now with girls my age. ALOT.

And I don't remember talking about things like castrating and pulling out testicles when I was 12 years old and oh-so-in-love with hot seniors.

Girls get more vile with age.
Boys grow from insensitive to bastardious with age.

Young boys always say the stupidest things, "AIYER YOUR BREATH SO SMELLY..POOO..!"

But sometimes, boys are like Tamagotchi! Sometimes they can be really sweet with the right amount of nurturing from their doting mums. If only boys are really like Tamagotchi where we can press the reset buttons on some of them.

Girls? Demure, loud, fat, thin, young or old, we are all capable of making your life a living hell.

All the best to my young cousins! :) For my girl cousin: Hope that the guy will be more mature and start to be nicer to you.
For my guy cousin: I'm sure if you send her another rose like you did for the previous Valentine days, she'll be so touched!