She should learn how to keep secrets to herself.
Especially the ones about herself.
But how can you still call it secrets when there are none to keep? Why do I ENJOY letting others peek into parts of me that they cannot see at a glance? By the way, that is NOT literally spoken.
My secrets may not be a matter of life and death but it reveals what kind of person I really am. Is there really such a thing as revealing too much?
I understand I have a reputation of being unable to contain juicy information to myself. But when people who (dare to)confide in me ask me to shut up about it, despite the initial difficulties, I stick to my word. Well, I seriously try and most of the time it is successful. No worries.
It may take alot of deep breaths to calm myself down so that I won't suddenly blurt out what I know. It's called will power. I may squirm in my seat, wanting to let the cat out of the bag.. but why risk friendships over a juicy piece of gossip?
Gossip is part of my heritage. My paternal grandmother gave me the skills.
So what happens when I have nothing to gossip about? OH. I gossip about myself. I am not the type to make up stories to intensify the degree of the juiciness of a piece of gossip. So I just tell it like it is. And I end up telling things to other friends that I don't usually say. AND I DON'T EVEN NEED ALCOHOL TO DO SO.
In other words, to keep a conversation going, I deliberately embarass myself.
I've nearly fallen out of friendships due to my inability to contain information to myself. So it is indeed a lesson learnt. Which is why I am who I am today. I'm wary about sharing other people's secrets and I still have that need to keep talking so I share my own.
Sometimes I wonder, what is too much? What is my value as a person when I have revealed things that normal people don't usually reveal to each other?
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On a brighter note, after weeks of being cooped up at home buried in notes(hah!), I went out with Chee Kiang last night to one utama for dinner. It's great to see him again after like what, 4 months? Long distance SO sucks. But this is what we need to do, going out and getting engrossed in our conversations, catching up on 4 months worth of each other's lives. Even if I am smacked dab in the middle of my examinations. Three hours never killed anyone. I had a great time. :) Thanks for getting me out of the house, dear. Hehe.
I've been having trouble sleeping these past few days. I don't even feel sleepy until the clock strikes 5am. Even at 2am I tell myself, "Ok, start studying soon.. start studying soon.." and I open the book at 4am(due to a serious bout of procrastination) and close it at 4.30am. But it's fine because there's only half a subject left to study. So I can afford to not spend 8 hours slogging everyday. My sleeping hours are really screwed up though.
My parents dragged me out of the bed this morning at 11am. I haven't even taken 7 hours worth of sleep at that time. Oh and oh wow, we were going for a baby girl's birthday party! Whoohoo! I'm so excited!! I LOVe waking up at 11am when I slept at 5am to go to a one year old's birthday party and enjoy the nursery rhymes that they are blasting on the stereos at the party. I hope I get to play musical chairs too!!
Nah, I'm not that mean to kids. Surprisingly, I found myself scruffing their hair(especially the cute little boys!) and getting all broody looking at little girls with malibus for hairties. Kids below the age of 6 are still very cute. I lost my innocence at 7. Damn the damn maid for teaching me the ways of the sinful adult. There was one little boy at the party who was about 2 and the party mask he was wearing was too big for his face and he would tilt his head back(so that he can see) and run around the hall screaming "ATTTAACKK.." or something that sounded similiar. Toddler language. Me old lady no understand.
Oh, and I didn't get called an Aunty! *flashes peace sign*
One of my dad's friend's wife kept rubbing my arm and saying, "Ooyoh, so fair, so smooth no blemishes." .. ehehe, kembangnya aku. *flashes peace sign again*
Today's bad news is that I missed the second episode of Malaysian Idol. I have not had my daily dosage of laughing at other unfortunate souls. I'm going to be damn grumpy.
