Little Girl In A Reverie
 

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Wednesday, November 03, 2004


Not Now

Despite having my statistics exam tomorrow, I've decided to come here to muse a little about this juicy piece of information from Hsin Ee's blog.

Someone from our school just got married. At 19.

I know it's not new, but when it happens so close to home, it makes you think. Nobody confirmed if it was shotgun or not.. and it COULD be true love. It really could.

Is she willing to give up her happening clubbing life? What about education? I don't know who's the husband.. heck, I hardly know the bride, but if he is a rich man's son, she'll obviously not need to work her ass off.  Can anyone have an early retirement(aka homemaking) at 19? There're not many people in that situation to be considered 'peers'. Being married at that age doesn't leave you with many people to relate to. If the guy is a middle-class/poor man..then it'll always be a nice romantic happy ever after thing when the couple work hard together to make their marriage work and bring children into the world. The only con I can think of is being able to relate to their child as their age gap is definitely close. Please note that everything in this paragraph are just my assumptions. I do not want to judge her decision. It's her life.

If I was to get married at this age I'd be running for my life. I have had alot of weird dreams these days. I was wed off suddenly without any warning and wearing strange things like a chi-pou(akin to cheongsam, but usually used for weddings). The strange part is that I knew that I would not be happy, but I still go on with the ceremony. There's this Joy Luck Club feel to it. Remember the scene where the young bride(16yo) was thrown into a room naked with the 15yo groom(who started laughing at her naked body)? Yeah that's the same feeling. In my dreams, the groom usually has this startled expression on his face.. and I cannot remember what goes on after that, as the dream proceeds, without his presence. By the way, the grooms in my dreams were a few different people. Hahaha. Will not name them, but they are all just friends, some only acquaintances. Sometimes I'm like "Ew! Why him of all human beings?!"

During the weddings in my dream, I have this suffocating feeling. Feelings of being trapped. I know very well that I shouldn't be doing this(getting married), but yet I have no control of my body. It's very scary, it is. Maybe this is confirming the level of my maturity. I have not reached the mindset for marriage. Perhaps my biological clock is still ticking along, a lifetime away before the alarm goes off.

The worst scenario of my (present)life will be to fall pregnant. That will be the ultimate shit. Hahaha, not like I have the chance to play around with that factor.. but still, IF I'm considered half decent that day will surely come, no? Ahem.
If I react strongly to things like getting involved in minor road accidents, what will happen to me if I DO get pregnant? Hahaha. I know what will happen to me. I'll die of dread. I'll dread that I'll have to tell my DAD that. Will I keep the baby? Will I lose the baby? What kind of man will be the type to impregnate me? Will he take full responsibility? Hm? Hm? But being me, you give me a period of 9 months, it's more than enough for everyone around me to become extremely supportive and for me to actually look forward to life with a baby. But no doubt, the first few moments will be the worst feelings ever. No one should have to go through those feelings. The dreaded feelings of having to tell your father. The wagging tongues of friends ain't too bad. But grandmother have wagged her tongue, and she created quite a gust of wind too at that whenever a cousin falls pregnant. (Happened a couple of times, it did.). Imagine the shame I'll bring to her and the rest of my family if I do. If any of your grandmothers are like mine, PLEASE do not fall pregnant. You wouldn't want Australia, USA, UK, China, Hong Kong, Singapore and (strangely), Taiwan to know within a few days. By the way, that happened to me when I first got my period. Within three days, words of congrats were sent from UK and Australia.

Some parents will encourage marriage to "pRoTeCt The FaMiLY hOnoUR!". But duh, you get married at 17, what honour is there left? Tongues will definitely wag. Even if it isn't a shotgun marriage, people will assume it's a shotgun marriage. Ah, true love schmue love. If it's so damn true, then just wait until you're about 24 the very least. If true love prevails, what's another 7 years? :) A good example will be the Prince And Me. He's going to wait for her till she graduates from medical school!

I read from friendster, one of my ex-love interest's current gf talked about marriage with him. "It's true! We're gonna get married in 5 years' time! He said so himself!". Hmm. Yeah. Sure. I'm sorry, maybe some people can understand what this is all about. But I'm very sure ALOT of us are still scared of the idea of having to-be-together-forever-and-ever.

I would never give up the best years of my life to become a wife. If the man is perfect for me, we will enjoy those years together before the first sign of wrinkle appears and eventually the wedding rings will be slipped on. No worries.

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 1:24:44 am
  (19) glitter balls rolling.  | 

Sunday, October 31, 2004


Happy Halloween!

Being smacked right dab in the middle of the exams can result in very weird behaviors.

Chien threw a Halloween party for her siblings' friends. Her brother refused to invite any friends though! So it was mostly form1's and std5's. Hsien, Barry and I decided to go kepoh!

I was actually contemplating if I should turn up in a costume or not. Then suddenly I thought of my Amy costume from "Sweet Valley #100-If I die before I wake". The full costume was supposed to be a blood stained nighty, clutching a teddy bear that had a looped around its neck, one ratty bunny slipper. But nah, didn't turn out as I wanted it to be then. I used it for the Leo's halloween party in form4. I decided to re-create the costume! Out came another old baju kurung for the idea.


 
My old kurung!


Muahahahahaha.. some brown eyeshadow/blusher to create mud stains.
 

Finger painting rocks!!!


Well, if you know me, I wouldn't usually paint like that. Obviously it's on purpose!


This is the fun part!! Snip and tear!


Some strategic holes..*ooo!*

I then continued some chemistry studying before driving over to Chien's place. Just as I was leaving my house, she called me and said, "EI!! All these idiots didn't show up in a costume!! All wearing black!! You wear all black too ok!!".. Gah. Fortunately I was smart enough to wear something black first. But I've already added a bloody gash to my neck. Hmm. I then arrived and was introduced to the kids..and they all went silent. It's not often a 17 year old crash their parties. It's not often they see a 17 year old with red paint on her neck when no one else wore any costumes.  


Mummy Chien briefing the kids about the rules for the next game. Passing the parcel and the loser gets drawn on the face. LOL. It was damn cute.


Oh! That's fiona! the one in the middle! My cousin Shevie's best friend! I knew her since she was 5! Fancy meeting her there!


Hahaha.. and that would be Jian Yung.. Su-Chien's brother. With his, er.. lightsaber.


Lady and tramp. l-r: Me and barry


Another game the kids played. They were divided into groups and each group had to make a mummy and then advertise tissue paper or something.


Yech.. What a mess.


Mummy Chien making sure everything's all right. At one point, Barry and I witnessed Chien smacking the hands of a 13 year old boy for trying to set the toilet roles alight with one of the tealights on the floor.


Su-Hsien yang gaya.


l-r: Hsien and Spastic-me


Oh what fun!


After the kids' adjourned to the tv room for a good dose of horror movies.. out came the cam whores. l-r: Chien, Me, Hsien.


The remaining 10 year olds who were standing around just watched us in a stone-like manner. I mean, don't la so serious?


I had to be careful with my dress/whatever or else it'd stain the walls. It stained my walls at home.


A nice picture of the three of us!


hehe..sorry, another one.


Finally Barry put on his costume..er, make-up!

The night was still young(10.30pm!) so we decided to go do some trick-or-treating. Hsien and I drove home first because our parents didn't allow us to drive too late into the night. Barry became the driver for the night.


As I was applying some lipstick, half of my lipstick broke and fell ...er.. bottom-first onto Chien's mirror stand.-_-"

The first house we visited was Joshua's house. He looked at Barry and said, "I can't believe you're in on this!".. He was very kayu.. I don't know why. Hahaha, it was unlike him! He gave us chocolates! LOL.


l-r: Chien, Josh, Barry and Sush


l-r: Chien, Josh, Me and Barry

The next house was E-guy's! Hahaha. He was watching football when we arrived! His brother came out to talk to us too! What a friendly little boy. He also gave us chocolates.


l-r: Chien, Hsien, Me, E-guy, Barry


l-r:Chien, Hsien, Me, E-Ken and Barry.
He is so adorable! He's starting to look more like E-Guy and E-Hunt already!! Only 9!

We then proceeded to Nigel's. His house was so dark and then we saw this half naked figure standing in the door and suddenly light flooded his compound. Hahaha.. we wanted to run across ..but was too slow. Oh well. After having a good laugh about his half naked-ness, we pestered him for candies.


This is Nigel looking for treats for us.


l-r: me,chien, nigel and hsien!


l-r: me, barry, nigel and hsien.

He couldn't find anything, so he gave us EGGS!!!! It's not easter, Nigel! It's Halloween!! LoL. Then, we were so embarassed because the mother woke up and came downstairs and looked for some candies for us. Oh dear. Thank you, Auntie!!

After that we wanted to go to Esther's house. But she picked up her phone in a very groggy manner and said that she didn't want to come down. Dejected, we headed off to USJ. The next morning, I rolled onto the floor picked up my laptop and propped it on the bed and went online and saw Esther. She said, "Oi! What did you say to me yesterday?" She had zero recollection about what happened yesterday. She said I should have insisted that she come down. Haih. Next year la girl! Haha.

Next stop was Chun Guan's house. Hahaha. At first he didn't want to let us in because he said his sister was very fierce. "Why your friends come so late ha?!" His sister was playing computer by the door way. He had a sensor light and everytime he popped back in to get us candies/his camera, the light would flash on and we would feel so bad. We bet his sister was very pissed by then. Hahahaha. He gave us E-clairs. It was about 12.15 then.


l-r: Barry, Hsien, Chun Guan and Me.


l-r: barry, hsien, Chun Guan and Chien


the three of us!

After that we proceeded to Mel's place! She was still up and her mother was watching Korean dramas! Mel was online so we disturbed other people who were on, on her list, but most of them we didn't really know. OH well. Right opposite her house was an Indian wedding and we had to walk past the remaining guests. Hahahaha. Mel gave us siu-paus. LOL.


Mel looking for treats for us!


l-r: Barry, Mel, Me, Hsien and Chien.


Mel was showing us pictures from the Halloween party that her aunty threw just hours ago.

Our last stop was Zhuo Yan's place. By then it was way past most of our curfews..it was 1.10am already and we were like, "yea, happy halloween just give us candies, damnit.." hahaha. Sorry Zhuo Yan, damn tired adi that time. LOL. He gave us muffins though. We were too tired to demand for something individual and wrapped up. Gah..


l-r: Me, Zhuo Yan, Hsien and Barry


l-r: Chien, Zhuo Yan, Hsien and Barry

We wanted to pop  by Starbucks for a drink, but it was closed!!!! Damn disappointing. Wanted to walk in in our get-ups and order a drink and ciao. LOL. Aww..

Apologies to the rest of our friends.. sorry we couldn't visit everyone due to curfews and petrols and Chien's lethargicness.


Went home and my brother insisted I take a picture with him. This is the first time he shows his teeth.


Cam whores.


Hahahaha.. So happen she yawned at the same time.


Our hard work!


My mother came in to nag me about the state of my room. ^_^

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 3:18:25 pm
  (15) glitter balls rolling.  | 

Saturday, October 30, 2004


Girly Ponderings

*throws the damn thinking skills book out the window.*

Er, wait. I don't think I own any. Oh well. *throws all the notes out the window*.

It's over!! It's over!! No more thinking skills!!!!!!!! Forever and ever.
Fortunately this time there was no extreme period cramps that distrupted my "creative chi". Ya right, don't think the last bit of my paper sounded very smart. Time constraints sucks.
:(

After the paper, I fetched Mel and Hsien to Holiday Villa for a swim. Mel studied BY the pool. I wore my new bikini again! Whoopee! This time this one seems abit more conservative compared to my old one. I think my old one did not "hold" very well. When I wore my old one, Kay Hong told me he went blind and I remember swimming in opposite directions of an old man who was staring at me whilst I crossed his path and I swam back and a 12 year old was staring at the same spot when I crossed HIS path. Today the boobs didn't really scream for attention.(this means no weird people swimming opposite me and still staring..haha) Well in place, my dear blubbers, well in place. The old one is more like an elastic pink boob tube.. so when I swim (I'd be horizontal), obviously it kind of falls out right? Am I being too graphic here? .. I kind of miss my old one though. It was unique. But Chien said "Save the world from your obstusity.(Is that even a word? What she meant was sudut cakah-ness.)"

Proud to say that I did 10 laps! Yes. One lap being UP and DOWN the Olympic sized pool. That means 20 full stretches!! I hope I can keep this up. As I was leaving Villa, the rain started to pour cats and dogs. I nearly wanted to cry when I went up a curb as I was coming out because I could not see where I was going. Then I remembered, "Oh yea, lights and wipers.". I just hate driving in a heavy storm. What if a tree falls on me?

Was surfing around when I came home and suddenly Wan Qi messaged me.

*~::qi::~*: hi jolene how are u
*~::qi::~*: i just wanted to let u noe
*~::qi::~*: what u were one of the best seniors ever
*~::qi::~*: u were the best secretary
*~::qi::~*: n u made my job much much easier
Miss Lai,(whatever I was doing then): *HUGS*
*~::qi::~*: wouldnt imagine what would i do with out u
Miss Lai,(whatever:  I was doing then):  awwww.. such a sweet thing to say!
*~::qi::~*: n u noe what
Miss Lai,(whatever:  I was doing then):but why suddenly?
*~::qi::~*: even if u're so crazy at times i still respect u
Miss Lai: :)thanks girl!
*~::qi::~*: ....suddenly? see ar...i always wondered what the current BOD think 
                about me ..so.....u probably wondered too
*~::qi::~*: so i'll just spill my feelings out lo =)
Miss Lai: :)  awwwwwww ur so swweeet!!!!!  haha..:) must be the SPm stress.
Miss Lai: i'll tell u what i think about u. u never gave us any problems.. u handled all  
            ur tasks cheerfully and . u never scolded people but made them feel like a
            best friend to u always:)
*~::qi::~*: hmm thats what u feel bout me? nice
*~::qi::~*: but i htink i scolded all of the assts b4 hehe
Miss Lai: hahaha u did? :P mayeb not in front of us. don't worry.. u'll know it when ur
            junior tells it to u. for example, like what u just said to
              me;)
Miss Lai: *touched* how did I make ur job easier?
*~::qi::~*: well u've got a lot of those secretary stuff u
              gave me remember?
Miss Lai: oh right.. awwww..must thank Evelyn Ng and Gi Gyn for that too..*makes a
             note to self*

Thanks, Wan Qi:) You made me reminisce about the Interact Days.

I also had a worrysome talk with Krystle. But she laughed at most of my worries. I worried about how much I have to give my parents when I start working.. how do I take care of them when they are frail and old..and how much should I spend on education..and will the education I take now affect the quality of my kids' education greatly? and most importantly... how much do I spend on my wedding? hahaha. She was laughing there and telling me not to think so much.

OooH. I was looking through Chien's Seventeen mag.
It's the prom issue and it was a really good read. All the pictures belong to Blu Inc!!

Some of the dresses featured are the ones that I really like! Now that I've been saving since the exams started.. even the Rm200+ dress doesn't seem like much!


Ruffled Chiffon, RM149, Dorothy Perkins. I absolutely love the cutting. The skirt is not straight cut, but abit like a sun dress type of skirt? This could be MY LBD!!!! It will be SO versatile. I think I shall invest in this.


I'd wear it to a dinner.. it's a cleavage pinpointer tube dress. The design's abit frumpy, but I like it!


Basic Print, Dorothy Perkins, RM149.
A bit too Stepford Wife-y. But hey..I quite like it! Maybe the flowery details should be kept to a minimum.


Jagged Edge, Treats, RM109. WOW. So cheap!! I'd definitely get this if they have it in yellow/white/baby blue/black/pink/...er. MAYBE red. Leech, have to say that I've been inspired by the one that you bought from French Blues!(love French Blues, unique fashion!)


Classic Oriental, Urban & Co, RM159. Abby, I know you have the white version of this. I like it so much!!!!...Don't worry girl, if I ever buy this dress, I'll never wear it when you wear it out!.. Maybe I'll get it in another colour. Maybe can be next year's cny dress.:)


This is probably the close I would get to a diamond necklace. When I say diamond necklace, I don't just mean a diamond pendant. I'm talking THAT(points to the top), in REAL diamonds. Hahaha. Dream dream dream. Something similiar would be nice.


Oooo... i think I shall go pink! I have an Uncle's wedding on the 20th of November. I'll wear my peach halter dress.(Yes, the one I bought from Sg.Wang). Look at that! So innocent!! Maybe this is the look I shall attempt. Hmm.


Seriously, RM60 for a pair of earrings? .. Maybe if I was THAT desperate to own *something* Guess..I'd get that. But I KNOW where I can get something that looks exactly like that for RM20. Bead Box, Bonita, Bumcity..I love their accessories.


Chien drew a confused/undecided face next to this skirt. I immediately sms-ed her and told her that it suits her VERY WELL and that she should BUY IT IMMEDIATELY.

Jo: Buy it!! You would look amazing with that cream white skirt by riian jeans!! Hehe, looking at your 17 mag. I need to shop..! Haven't said that in a long time! 
Chien: Whoa who are you and what have you done with my Jolene? The real jo does not, I repeat not shop ok!
Jo: I am the shopaholic monster who came out of the mag to possess jolene who's saving money for 7 weeks!
Chien: Why hello there my long lost monster friend! So lovely to see you again, i sure missed you!
Jo: Haha hey hey wasap, the stupid stingy bitch might come back soon, but I'm not sure when. Could meet up with you for expensive drinks in Bangsar while I'm here!
Chien: Oh no but you see i love my jo so i wouldn't want her to freak out when she finds out that her evil alter ego has spent all her money!
Jo: Glad you still remember your friend's true nature. *unzips monster costume* IT'S ME! JOLENE! *hugs* haha, eh tmr how?

hahahahahaha..kebodohan yang tidak boleh diperbodoh-bodohkan... -_-"


So that's how they do it! Good, now I won't look like ..er..a.. fake britney(tee-hee) with this technique at hand.


This look is good too! More on the orange!But the magazine said we should stay off the brown in order to look less weather-beaten.


The source of all this lovely info. Yum!;) If Mable(who comes from Mel's blog) EVER reads this, SEVENTEEN ROX.

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 5:00:38 am
  (11) glitter balls rolling.  | 

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Hi, my name is Jolene and if there is a question in your head, this answer will definitely answer it: I was wrong and irrational. I was being a woman.


Jolene Lai, Jolene Lai,
Came to life in January and not July,
She is 19 years of age,
Can't wait to earn her own wage,
This dental student is home sick,
Will never be in Kedah for more than three weeks.

Subang Jaya is where she's from,
The only place she'll ever call home.
Has a boyfriend, a brother and a dog,
The things she says can give you a shock.

Especially for her father, who always gets a heart attack when he reads this blog.

Hey, rhymes!
 

Why The National Service Entries Ended.

My favourite posts:
Please Don't Take My Orange Away (9/03/05)
Flasher On MSN! (28/4/05)
Looking Back From Where They Left Off (8/10/05)
A Bottle Of My Bestest Friends In The Whole Wide World!(13/2/06)
Diary Extracts For Him From The Yesteryears (23/3/06)



Love proclamations and hate mails can go to jolenelai@gmail.com

Money can be sent to an address upon request.

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SmashpOp.  Love the colours.

My Current  Blogger Crush...


Benjamin dunnowhat Sew Jin.
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Two sisters. Two shopaholics.
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