Little Girl In A Reverie
 

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Saturday, October 08, 2005


Looking Back From Where They Left Off

The only consolation we had from the past few days was the chance to rummage through their lifetime of possession. I've seen this coming for years. My grandfather have told me time and time again exactly which of his collection would go to which grandchild.

He is a mad collector. He collects stamps that date back to the 1930s(pre-war days). Stamps from every country, some I've not even heard off. He has got about 7 albums full of it and an array of miscelleanous stamps in clear plastic bags sorted out by country and states.

Then there's the matchbox collection which I am still looking high and low for. The jars and jars of coins that he has collected over the years. I found an entire box of keychains. At least 200 there.

The most surprising discovery I made was my grand father's vinyl record collection. Perhaps there are about 200+ of them. 45rpms and 33 and a half rpms. I don't know what that means, but I've been doing a bit of reading on vinyl records seeing that they're probably worth some money.

My grandmother's not much of a collector but she does enjoy collecting postcards. Will try to see what I can do with it when I do find it. Hoping to stumble upon some vintage costume jewelry. That'd be so cool.

Dad's thinking of auctioning off all the "maybe got value" things that my grandparents own on eBay and the profits will be used to maintain my grandparents house in USJ (ie. for bills, repair works etc.). The process of finding and auctioning it will be fun though.


Malayan stamps!! No kidding.


Sarawak pre-war stamps!!


Some UK stamps in the 1970s. In the upper left corner you can see some stamps commemorating Charles and Princess Di's wedding.


Stamps, stamps and more stamps.


His keychains collection!!


There's one of a naked girl. Speaking of naked, we stumbled upon some naughty magazines... and ughhh, those girls date back to the 1960s. With the hairstyles to boot. The fashion then was not to bikini wax. Uggh. My brother, cousin brother Kwan Hoong and myself were looking at the price of the mag and it said, "1 pound!". We wondered for awhile how my grand father managed to get one from the UK before realisation dawned upon us and we went, "AHHHHHH..hahahah..". Our dear Uncle Terry in UK sure knows how to spoil our grandfather.


Aunty Judy who was studying nursing(and eventually lived there for about 30 years now) gave this locket to my grandmother.


How old school are these? Laser discs from the mid-90s!! Not of value, but quite exciting all the same.

            
His coins collection! Arranged to countries. Very organised old man, my grandfather.

            33 and a half rpms vinyl records. Aunty Judy said that these were the singles then.


There are more. I wonder if they're still playable.

                 Really flower power man. Rod Stewart, Santana etc.. Maybe some of my dad's teenage stuff are in the pile.


NANCY SIT?!!

I'm quite the sentimental fool so I've looked through every single photo album in my grandparents' home and decided to share these with you guys.


My grandmother's parents' wedding. Even then they knew how to cut heart shapes. Wow. Circa 1920s/1930s.


My dad at age 4. SO CUTE RIGHT? I don't know why his head so big though.


Aunty Susie and Dad at age 8 and age 11.


Aunty Judy(Dad's oldest sister) and Grandma(who was 17 then.)


That's me. With a Nike shirt. I was more brand concious then compared to myself now. Should be about 2 years old.


A haunting pic of my grandmother.


My father's 5 year old birthday party. He's the little boy with a black tie(he was wearing a tie already!!!) and white shirt. Very 'heng' those number-shaped birthday cakes back then.


Grandma's photo to granddad. "Lovingly you/only/always" or something like that.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned this but do you know that my grandmother's grandmother is pure Thai? So yeah, I have mix blood. But sorry lah, I didn't turn out to be much of an exotic beauty. :( All the chinese blood got summoned into me and I got all the features a typical chinese girl should have: small eyes and flat nose. :(

Maybe some Thai Blood came into me and gave me these boobs.(pays homage to boobs). Height, I'm not sure. Are chinese typically tall?


Granddad also fat hiau and sent one back.


Two years before they got married. Heck, she was only 14!! Anyway, I didn't know grand dad's a christian before?! Last I know, he was a staunch taoist.


Damn drama right? But very nice.


She got married at the age of 16. Grand dad was 22.



I don't know why she looked so moody in all her wedding photos. It was not an arranged marriage.


My poser father and his younger sister, Aunt Susie. About 1965.


Grandparents were quite the camwhores.


top l-r: Grandma, Greatgrand-dunnowho, Greatgrandmother, Grandfather
bottom l-r: Aunty Susie(age 1), Aunty Judy(age 7) and Dad(age 4).


A 1964 photo. Dad was only 7 and can't possibly be interested in photography. Granddad loved photography as well. Now I know where I got my mo liu photo taking gene from. Even my dad likes to take photos of mo liu things. I remember how I used to dig through the stacks of photo in the cupboards as a child and got frustrated when I saw albums and albums of inanimated objects.(read: photos that did not have my cute baby face in it.)


A nice photo of grandmother.


Granddad was in the reserve police during the Japanese occupation era. Great grand mother used to object against their relationship because he always carried a gun. Right.


Someone should have told him that smoking kills.


My grandma was 23 years old in this photo. Imagine, I will be THAT age when I graduate from my dentistry course. Without two children. Gosh,I'd better not have any children at that age!


Found too many cute photos of myself. Here's one of me. I had a phase at about age 2 during when I hated the camera so much. It was the damn flash.


See what I mean? Mum was pregnant with Mervyn, by the way. That was about late 1988.


Hated it so much.


This was taken maybe 5 years ago?


Aunty Susie and Aunty Judy clowning around.


Cousin Shevie enjoying her meal at age 3. She was SO cute. She finishes PMR on Tuesday. Lucky, lucky. 


My grandfather had always loved gardening.




I HAD TO PUT THIS UP. A very horrid photo of my dad. I'm sure our kids will look at our photos and say, "UGH MUM WHY UR HAIR SO STRAIGHT/UGH DAD WTF YOUR HAIR SO SPIKY FOR?" .. so that's why I'm not rebonding my hair just yet.


Dad and I on our birthday. He was 32 and I was 2.


Grandma and me. I was 3 years old!

 
Grandma's family. She's the little girl on the left. I think she was 5 years old.
Aunty Peggy is the one who is being carried by my great grand mother. The other little girl is Aunty Dolly who is their older sister.

       

Grandfather and dad. Circa 1964.

                                

Grandmother and granddad. Taken in 1964 as well.

               

This photo is too funny. My grand dad is the one with his head resting on his palm. Tsk, tsk. Look until like that. HAHA. He's a good man, my grand mother was there as well so it's not like he went alone. lol. Oh gosh. What an ugly stripper though. It was during the late 1950s. My dad insists that it is Rose Chan.(famous striptease artist back in the 1960s) I don't think so though. Maybe it is a man.

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 7:25:26 pm
  (29) glitter balls rolling.  | 

Friday, October 07, 2005


Both In Heaven

The doctor suggested that we took her off the life support system.

So my grandmother left us at about 10.45am yesterday.(6th October).

In my opinion, she's already left us on Monday.

We stood around her, talking to her while catching glimpses of the declining levels of her heart rate, blood pressure etc.

There was no defining moment for her to leave us. Which is why I am not sure myself if she's really dead. Is she really dead?

I find it so hard to believe. We're cremating her tomorrow already; having the coffin in the house for too long gets too depressing.

It's a shock to everyone.

I don't think it's her time to go you know?

But at least she'll be accompanying my grandfather.

I walked out of a bakery in Taipan today at about 12.45pm and this really good looking guy in a sandwich board passed me a stressball promoting Maxis' latest package. Truly an angel from heaven. What perfect timing for a stressball.

Even the most dramatic television shows have yet to instill this type of storylines in their episodes. It's damn morbid.

Praying makes you cry. When you pray, you look at her photo. When you look at her photo, you think. You think about the past, you just cry somemore.

Now I know what people mean when they say, "You think you've got problems?!"

At least phone calls will not be a nauseating experience any longer.

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 4:08:40 am
  (25) glitter balls rolling.  | 

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


And Then My Grandmother Had A Massive Stroke

On Sunday night, I found a stack of old photos in my grand dad's study and was looking through it in my grand mum's room. My grand mother, her sister and myself were staying in that room for that night.

I asked her sister(my grand aunty) if my great grand mother approved of my grand father after looking at a particular picture in which my grand dad was quite cool looking next to a very docile grandmother of mine. Grand ma shook her head. We smiled abit and my grand mother just looked at me with her usual sad expression.

She told my grand aunty, "I want to sell off everything in this house, buy a nice big suitcase and travel the world,".

My grand aunty had abit of a cough and she turned around and screamed, "Maggie!! Maggie!!"(Maggie being my grandmother's name).

My grandmother was panting and blowing into her pillow, her right arm trashing. She was on her side and her eyes were closed shut and her tongue twisted out in a grosteque manner.

My grand aunty Peggy who was an ex-nurse, grabbed a hold of her and slapped her on the face repeatedly shouting, "Mag, Mag, wake up, Mag..!" I screamed, "DADDDYYY..MAMA HAS FITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It was a horrible horrible sight.

My Grand Aunty Peg took out the bottom dentures and I remember she wears an upper one as well so I stuck my hand in to pry that one out. I held on to both her legs because they were trashing. Her right arm was continuously slapping against her thighs and then it slapped against the wall. It then twitched against her head and she broke out in a cold sweat. She couldn't even control her bladder.

Dad asked in a calm voice, "So what should I do..?"

OBVIOUSLY HE WAS NOT CALM. WE NEEDED AN AMBULANCE.

The damn ambulance came like 30 minutes later and she was ferried off to SJMC.

I was crying my eyes out because she looked really bad and I didn't want to lose another grandparent too soon. My Aunty Adelin and Uncle Eric came all the way from USJ6 to keep us company and we all slept downstairs, unable to sleep. Waking up to cry somemore.

The rest of the family returned from the hospital and said that my grand mother had a stroke and was in the ICU. So my grandmother slipped into a comma.

She has not been eating her pills for three days because she ran out of it and how do you know?  Her sugar levels and her high blood pressure decided to shoot sky high. Then there was a blood clot in her brain.

We had to keep this from my cousin sister Shevie who was sitting for her PMR the following day. It was so difficult because just before she arrived at my grandparents' home in USJ3, we were crying again and we had to put on a smile and ask her how's her paper. We didn't want to tell my Aunty Judy who is from UK yet because she was on her way back for my grand father's funeral. We had to let her digest grand dad's death first before breaking it to her about grandma's condition. My Aunty Judy took it quite well when my father gently broke it to her.

We were too busy with grand dad's funeral so we didn't get to visit her much but other relatives and family friends helped us by going to her and reporting back to us about her condition.

Keeping it from Shevie was very tough. My Aunty Susie told her that my grand mother was sent to the hospital because she was really tired and needed to be put under observation. Shevie was a little puzzled but did not question the family's decision to do so. She felt it was abit strange though.

On the day of my grand father's cremation, the doctor called my family up and my Aunty Judy who is a nurse and would be familiar with the terms used, talked to the doctor. They did a CT scan and there is no activity in the brain. She was on the ventilator and they would remove it in a few days to see if she can breathe on her own.

At that very moment when we received the phone call, my grand father's coffin was being carried out to be put into the hearse. You know that part is one of the sadder parts of the funeral right? Plus the fact that we were so worried about my grandmother made all of us cry uncontrollably while doing that walking-around-the-coffin-with-joss sticks thing.

My grandfather's cremation was really bad. They opened the incinerator and let us see the fire engulfing his coffin. My Aunty Susie was wailing, calling out for her father. Dad was chanting very fiercely and his grip on me tightened. It was really scary because he could not control the tone of his voice when he was chanting. He was going to go out of control. I thought I was the bravest because I did not start crying. Then I remember the way he used to ask me to eat the apples that he has bought for me and I just started wailing uncontrollably. Plus the fact that I know my grandmother will never be the same person that she once was even if she does survive.

At about 10pm, the doctor called my dad up and said that things were not looking good. Her brains were swelling and the moment it presses against her nerve, her heart will stop functioning. Even if she does survive, she will become a vegetable because there is no activity in her brain. We tried our very best not to start crying because we know once we start, we can't stop.

We had to tell Shevie already because it would not be fair to us. But she took it very well. All of us took turns to go and see her in the ICU and talked to her and kissed her as well.

Things are not looking great. After collecting grand dad's bones from the crematorium this morning, we went to see grand mother at SJMC. We'll be taking turns to be with her.

Everytime the phone rings, we'll be clutching our hearts because they beat faster and we'll feel nauseous trying to gauge the facial expressions of those who receive the calls. You can't even eat your food.

We know that she will be very depressed after his death. If this is what she wants, this is what she wants.
This is the worst week of my life.

At the praying table in front of grand dad's lot, there were plates of oranges and apples. I took one of each because I still remember him telling me to eat the apples that he has brought for me.

Every now and then, I can still remember the way they call my name very clearly in my head. And it saddens me so. Something so familiar, you know?

-
Thanks for all the encouraging comments and condolences. I'm just not up to replying to every single one but it touched me that you guys cared to drop a line in the previous post.

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 9:16:16 pm
  (21) glitter balls rolling.  | 

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Hi, my name is Jolene and if there is a question in your head, this answer will definitely answer it: I was wrong and irrational. I was being a woman.


Jolene Lai, Jolene Lai,
Came to life in January and not July,
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The things she says can give you a shock.

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Why The National Service Entries Ended.

My favourite posts:
Please Don't Take My Orange Away (9/03/05)
Flasher On MSN! (28/4/05)
Looking Back From Where They Left Off (8/10/05)
A Bottle Of My Bestest Friends In The Whole Wide World!(13/2/06)
Diary Extracts For Him From The Yesteryears (23/3/06)



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