Little Girl In A Reverie
 

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Sunday, September 18, 2005
The NS Magic Ends: I've Deleted Them All

It happened again.

I came home with the article from All The R.Age and showed my mum the little write up about my blog on their Blog Watch column. Mum was really excited about it and I can't blame her for showing it to my father. But then again, I wanted my father to know that my blog received a mention in the papers; even if it is only distributed in campuses, whatever his reaction was. He seemed pretty nonchalant about it.

Then he came down for some soup and asked me, "Jo, can you stop blogging?"

I looked up at him with eyes akin to an animal caught in the headlights.

He is worried again with the exposure that I was getting from my NS blogs. He said that I've worked so hard(did I?) to get to where I am today and he said he doesn't know how far this will go. I don't know if what I wrote was detrimental towards the government but if that's what my father thinks is best, who am I to say anything to go against his words?

I told him I'm not sure if it really deters people to avoid NS. He said, "Then don't play with fire if you're not sure how to."

He doesn't want me to go on taking the risk and there could be a possibility that the authorities MIGHT not like what they see and initiate legal proceedings against me. His rationale is that I can not afford to have a black mark in my records especially when I am only 18.

Perhaps alot of you might think I'm exaggerating but we do know that there IS the possibility that my national service blogs will not be accepted by the government.

And yes, my dad reads every single letter that I sent home. That was something that I could not avoid. He did say that I write well but he was not happy that it was in a negative sort of way. He said that I can write my blog in an autobiographical sort of way and go all out as long as it doesn't harm anyone but then again, my NS stint was a life experience for me, Hmm. What my dad meant was that I should not be writing against intitutions.

I know it's weird that I agreed to delete everything. Strangely, I don't feel THAT sad. I liked the fleeting fame my blog entries received especially when the likes of Kenny Sia, TV Smith  and a host of other big bloggers who shared my blog with the rest of their worlds. I felt really happy when I saw my hits soar up during that short period of time.

I reached an all time high when Melody smsed me on Thursday morning saying that my blog was featured in All The R.Age. I was quite discouraged to see that my hits were actually deteriorating and I now get an average of 320 a day compared to the 1760 unique hits I received when Kenny blogged about my national service blogs and his thoughts on the programme. Thanks to my National Service entries, my incoming links have reached 180.

After awhile, I felt that the hits I was getting from my national service blogs were not genuine enough for me to appreciate them. It's only because people are curious about national service which is why they read me. I started to wonder, "Will people still be bothered to drop by after the entries end?" I can easily rattle of a list of a few of my good friends and readers who became friends who will constantly check up on my life, wondering if I am eating well, sleeping well, shitting well etc but when you get a sudden surge of 1760 hits ... I know this is stupid lah, but it's heartbreaking to see your hits declining.

Besides, I felt that the magic was over. My friends complaint that I was losing my original style because of my barrage of NS entries.

Those who matter have read my NS entries, at least a few, if not all. You know what happened. Thank you for reading me.

Though I have 11 more entries to go, I decided to stop at Day 39 and delete everything before that. I've saved it of course and if any one of you wants to read it, you can just drop me a line at jolenelai@gmail.com. Yes, it's still dangerous because you never know who's behind a screen name but at least I can control who reads me.

I would like to apologise to all who have linked to me, telling your friends about my NS blogs. I feel as if I've left an empty hole in your blogs. My apologies to All The R.Age as well. It's not even a week since you've given me some exposure.

Those of you who read my entries would know that I had a hard time dealing with my camp mates' attitudes. But you know, my NS entries had a happy ending. Really. Like every other story. The last line of the entries would have been, "So kids, go for NS. It will be fun." Thought I could've been some NS evangelist or something. Eheh.

A list of my national service entries' titles. It was fun while it lasted..

Day 2   :Finally
Day 3   :There's a Bitch Already
Day 4   : Homesick But Surviving
Day 5   : Racial Integration Classes
Day 6   : Making Friends With A Fellow Banana
Day 7   : Adjusting But Satisfied
Day 8   : The Recreational Buddhist Who Has To Refrain From Bitching
Day 9   : Finally Chilling
Day 10 : I Can Be A Security Guard You Know
Day 11 : Unleash The Bitch In Me And Dorm Politics  
Day 13 : Racial Integration, It's Working!
Day 14 : How A Boring Saturday Can Have So Much
Day 15 : No Manners
Day 16 : Living Together
Day 17 : Of Paper Planes and Fried Toes
Day 18 : Racial Harmony
Day 19 : Chosen For Merdeka March!!!
Day 20 :The Physical And Mental Module Rocks!!
MERDEKA: NS HABIS DAH!!!
Day 21 : My Sufferings: Bitches and Menstrual Woes
Day 22 : I Was On TV!
Day 23 : Getting In The Mood
Day 24 : Creative Sports and Water Confidence
Day 25 : A Barrage Of Physical Activities. Owww~!
Day 28 : Adapting, adapting.
Day 29 : There Are Real Bitches
Day 30 : The Retaliation
Day 31 : Finally On The Flying Fox!
Day 32 : When the Skies Are Grey, The People Are Happier
Day 33 : Sometimes Muhibbah Is Unfair
Day 34 : Character Building Graduation Night!
Day 35 : Deep Down, I Am Jungle Joe
Day 36 : On A Lazy Sunday
Day 37 : The Sacrifices We Are Forced To Make Just To March For Merdeka
I'll Be Marching.

Now the original Little Girl In A Reverie will resume.

In loving memory...

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 7:04:24 am
   (24) glitter balls rolling.  | 



Sometimes We Must Say Goodbye

Being back in the Klang Valley gives perhaps one of the nicest of nostalgic feelings that can ever be stirred in me. This is where I grew up. I miss my bed. I hate feeling so temporary in my own home. Why must I leave my home? I just didn't have enough time to think about it. It finally settled in.

The damn bus arrived KL at 12am and it left Sungai Petani at 5.30pm. We broke down in Penang for the good part of an hour and only had hot dogs(RM3.90) for dinner. The man who was sitting in front of me had smelly hair and someone brought cat poo along. Rumours had it that someone reeked of ammonia as well. Some people can be so disgusting, hor? *nudges those who understands the previous sentences*

I met up with Mel, Esther, Chien, Hsien and Mun Teng at One Utama for a final shopping trip before Chien and Hsien leaves for the UK on Tuesday and Monday respectively. Everything's the same but I'm getting so tight with my money....I don't know if it's because I'm living the life of a poor student(who relies on her parents only) or if it's because of the fact that I'm planning to buy myself a camera.

I had a really embarassing experience on the bus yesterday and had another embarassing experience today. If you're a good good good friend and if I want to tell you about yesterday, I will. Just to see you laugh. But if you're not, sorry, I still want you as my friend. Today's one happened in FOS. I went up to who I thought was my best friend Melody Song, tapped her shoulder and started yapping about how cheap the shirts are in the next shop, only RM20.00 for two fake Billabong tees!! Then the woman who was not Melody turned around and raised her eyebrows; appearing to be taken aback.

Mel was standing 5 metres away, holding a cute fluffy vest(RM30!), in shock and amusement.

Oh the embarassment.

Melissa dropped by to see us before her evening appointments. I don't know when's the next time I'll be able to see that girl again. The six of us stood in the middle of the level with all the designer shops, remisnicing about the years gone by. It's so hard to forego the convenience of being able to meet up every weekend and whenever we feel like it.

It's time to grow up.

Liss started to say goodbye to Chien and Hsien and Chien was hugging herself; a sign I know that she was on the verge of tears. My own tears were welling and I had to blink them away but these are the girls whom I have known for 7 and 8 years, so out they came. Spilling.

And in between Polo Ralph Lauren and Armani Exchange, we were a huddled blubbering mess. The security guard was looking at us and so were the Saturday afternoon crowd who passed us by.

I was crying so hard and then Chan Jin-Tian(the hardcore form1 to form3 crush who was an essential character in my early secondary school years' stories...clue: Have any of you read That Diary Girl? Don't know when I'll ever update that blog again. Yup, surprise, surprise, I'm the author but who cares.) had to walk past the minute the tears were spilling forth and I was like, "Oh Fuck!!" much to the girls' amusement. The weird thing was when we were crying, David(who was involved with Hsien for a portion of 2004) walked past as well.

What is this, man? Cry-In-Front-Of-Old-Sort-Of-Flames Day?

We met up with Chun Guan in Syed and the taste of Teh Ais on my tongue for the first time in three months and knowing for a fact that these teh ais moments will be few and far in between from now on leaves a hollow melancholy feel. I'm sorry for being so emo but I didn't have time to anticipate these changes.

In the evening, Barry and Suet Li took me for dinner at Pizza Uno, Taipan. It was great catching up with them and bitching about everything under the sun just like we used to. It's good to see that the both of them are going strong. Sometimes when you go out without the rest of the kampung, the quality of the 'catching up' session is so much better. All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Thank you Barry for the Aglio Olio. :) Thank you Suet for teaming up with me to poke fun at Barry.

I took my Dad's Ixus and should have taken it for the entire day. But here are just a few pictures...at least better than nothing.


l-r: Barry and Suet


Somethings never changes. l-r: Barry, me


l-r: Suet, Me


"Camwhoring is like riding a bicycle, you can never forget how to do it." - Jolene Lai, author of Little Girl In A Reverie.

I haven't had the chance to mention that my blog appeared under Blog Watch in All The R.Age, a publication by The Star especially for campuses all over Malaysia. But I'll have to write them an email and whine about why AIMST is not getting any.

It's because of my National Service blogs that I got a mention. I was really elated! I want to know who I should thank for helping me to pimp my blog.

The mini article read:

"Maybe you're not one of the "lucky" ones to be selected for NS, but Jayelle is. There's been a lot of hoo-hah over the National Service, but if you want to get a first person account of the experience, surf over to Jayelle's blog where she has been blogging her stories of NS thru weekend letters."

I am extremely honoured. Thank you, thank you.


Yup! That's me!

But for every beginning, there will be an end. Sometimes amnesia must be induced. It'll be difficult, but I'll explain in the following post. See if I can do it by tonight. It's 2am already. Damn.

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 4:16:35 am
   (6) glitter balls rolling.  | 

Saturday, September 17, 2005
Tanglung Totting Dentists

Only two weeks into the course and we've already had our first ever gathering. It was held at my hostel unit and it's nice lah because you have a bunch of people sitting at the study tables discussing the compact bone and another bunch gossiping in the sitting area. It was not much of a party because you see, we are students without a steady income. It is a sad thing, but we pull through.

Everyone loves to play with fire regardless of their age. We're all arsonists at heart, aren't we? :D Which is why a tanglung session is definitely fun.

It's even more fun with a camera!! Pity mine died on me, I don't know how to ask my dad for a new one. Heck, it's 2.8 megapixels. Don't laugh please.:( But thankfully my housemate, Cze Yin, has one. So here you go! Loads of photos! Presenting my classmates for the next 5 years!(only those who are staying in the hostels though)


On the main road outside our house.


l-r: Harveen and Narjit


A group cuddle behind a row of candles. Didn't quite get the effect that I wanted.


l-r: Cze Yin, Brenda, Me and Maxis
Cze Yin did her STPM in Catholic High School and was previously working at Dr.Jagjit's orthodontic clinic in SS15! Brenda's from Penang and she was previously in Monash pursuing a business degree. Maxis did his STPM in CHS as well! They're are all two years older than me, but I can't feel the age gap. Though Brenda did invite me to go clubbing two weeks from now and they were like, "You're old enough adi right?"
haiyo, sure lah!


L-r: Lishen, Wuan Ping, Cze Yin, Poh Yee
Lishen needs no introduction; my classmate from form4 and form5. Wuan Ping's from Terengganu! Poh Yee's from Perak and she did her SAM in Inti Nilai. It's lovely that we come from all over Malaysia. Every single state except Pahang and Kelantan.


l-r:Me and Jimmy
Jimmy did his SAM in Taylor's last year. I'm sure alot of you might know him! Besides, he shares the exact same surname(chinese character and all) as me. We're probably cousins.


Maxis. Because his chinese name, Min Shin, is the mandarin name for Maxis.(the mobile service provider?)


The lot of us outside our house! So nice right?


Me and Lishen pan-ning cute!;D


This pic is damn scary!! Can you see the faint image of a guy's head sort of floating in the background?

My skills rock!


Just another random shot..


l-r: Narjit, Brenda, Jimmy, Cze Yin, Harveen
Narjit who's from Negeri Sembilan, did her matriculation in Perak and Harveen from Penang did her CPU in Sunway College.


l-r: Maxis and Ah Thong. Ah Thong's from Perlis and he was doing his STPM as well! Another 20 year old.


Jimmy the sor chai!


The guys hanging the lanterns on the tree outside our house.

Jimmy and I


l-r: Jimmy, Brenda and I.


top l-r: Xiong Khee, Me
bottom l-r: Ah Thong, Nien Cze, Poh Yee, Sock Nee, Chuan Horng and Steven.
Xiong Khee did her A-levels in Sedaya College! Nien Cze's from Penang, Sock Nee's from Alor Setar, Chuan Horng's from Ipoh and Steven's from Klang, an ex-ACS Klang boy. Kevin Su, if you ever read my blog, you might know Steven. Steven says he knows you.


l-r: Harveen, Jimmy, Me, Brenda, Narjit


Our study area. Can you see the green mat on the left side of the photo? That's where my room is. The camera battery died.. or else I would've uploaded a picture of my room.


l-r: Zhu Zhen, Nien Cze, Sock Nee, Poh Yee.
Zhu Zhen's from Alor Setar as well.. I think she did her STPM as well.


Cze Yin massaging Lishen's cramped foot.


l-r: Narjit, Harveen, Brenda, Yan Rui, Nien Cze, Desmond, Magesh, Jimmy
Yan Rui did his SAM in Taylor's as well.. he is actually Jimmy's ex-classmate. Desmond did the AIMST matriculations, he is from Perak and Magesh did STPM.


oooh!! I love this picture, see how it illuminates??


Yan Rui; haven't changed since class ended. :D


l-r: Lishen and maxis


l-r: Steven, Magesh, Desmond

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 5:34:54 am
   (7) glitter balls rolling.  | 

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Hi, my name is Jolene and if there is a question in your head, this answer will definitely answer it: I was wrong and irrational. I was being a woman.

Jolene Lai, Jolene Lai,
Came to life in January and not July,
She is 19 years of age,
Can't wait to earn her own wage,
This dental student is home sick,
Will never be in Kedah for more than three weeks.

Subang Jaya is where she's from,
The only place she'll ever call home.
Has a boyfriend, a brother and a dog,
The things she says can give you a shock.

Especially for her father, who always gets a heart attack when he reads this blog.

Hey, rhymes!
 
Why The National Service Entries Ended.

My favourite posts:
Please Don't Take My Orange Away (9/03/05)
Flasher On MSN! (28/4/05)
Looking Back From Where They Left Off (8/10/05)
A Bottle Of My Bestest Friends In The Whole Wide World!(13/2/06)
Diary Extracts For Him From The Yesteryears (23/3/06)



Love proclamations and hate mails can go to jolenelai@gmail.com
Money can be sent to an address upon request.

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Direct suppliers from Taiwan, shopping online for good bargains, 99% cheaper than the bargains in the stores..and they're bringing it all to you. What more could you want?
 
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