Sometimes I get mind numbing conversations on MSN from people who have randomly added me from my blog(I block those who tell me they got my email address of the "internet". Funnily, they are all middle eastern folks who add me. And the first thing they want to do is "Play webcam"). Admittedly this girl who chatted with me added me a long time ago because she wanted to do a survey on national service.

I'm not entirely enticed at the prospect of talking to people who I meet through the internet(without any mutual friends or interests to bridge the connection). I will reply monosyllabically. But I've brought my responses to mind numbing conversations to a whole new level!

Let's call this girl E. E, first and foremost, I'd like to apologize for making fun of our MSN conversation. But it's just too funny. LOL.

E: your brother followed you back to Kedah?
Miss Lai: Nolah, I only came back for the weekend.
E: Oooh..is his name Jason Lai?

At this point, I was quite bored. So I said...

Miss Lai: eh, how you know?
E: Is he the one who conducted in the MPO?

0_0 This is getting weird..

Miss Lai:yesyes! That's the guy!
E: Okay, I saw him then just now.
Miss Lai: tell him his sister said hi..
E: Erm, just now afternoon leh. Now evening already.
Miss Lai: icicic.
E: Uhhuh, uhhuh. What work is he doing anyway? Zoo keeper?

Wtf?!! How random is this? So I thought fine lah, the weirder the conversation, the funnier it gets.

Miss Lai: Yea.....zoo keeper.
E: Really?
Miss Lai: Yes.
E: Then how come he conducts in MPO?
Miss Lai: Because he likes music too.
E: Zoo keeper where? Malaysia?
Miss Lai: Nah, Switzerland.
E: u mean he came all the way to Malaysia just to conduct this MPO..? Wow..
Miss Lai: Yeah...passionate huh.
E: Uhhuh. He studies music too?
Miss Lai: Yeahh..
E: and animals too.

!! What?!

Miss Lai: Yea....amazing huh.
E: Uhhuh, Passionate to the animals or the MPO?
Miss Lai: He is aiming to make an All Animals Orchestra. AAO.
E: In Switzerland?
Miss Lai: No, in Zimbabwe.

I can't believe she still believes me.

E: Haha, what animals will there be?
Miss Lai: You know, the type which make sounds.
E: You mean every kind lah.
Miss Lai: Yeah, but sometimes rabbits are a little quiet. So not every kind.
E: When is this AAO thing?
Miss Lai: Should be held on the 30th of February 2010.
E: my mum said all the animals that he is training now will be dead by then man, so long more.
Miss Lai: lol...well you don't know. Only the longer surviving ones are selected to play for the orchestra.
E: Oh..so are you going to go see it?
Miss Lai: It should be fun. I mean how often do you get to see a donkey singing in
               falsetto rite?
E: Does the donkey really sings or it brays?
Miss Lai: Train it to give out different amplitudes of brays lor!

Whatever bray is. -_-

E: It would be fun seeing them bringing out wrong tunes. Haha.
Miss Lai: No, they have four years to train. nothing should go wrong. You don't have faith in Jason?
E: got lah, that one definite. But you won't know what will happen suddenly right.
Miss Lai: Yup...
E: so you only have one sibling..? a brother?
Miss Lai: Yeap.....
E: Okay.

And that was the end of our conversation. I've never had so much fun crapping.

Intrigued, I googled Jason Lai MPO. And nearly shat my pants laughing.

*

Sett was kind enough to fetch Jimmy, Ken(one of the pharmacy dudes over here who also happens to be the guys' housemate) and I to the bus stop for the weekend trip back to KL.

Sett had to take a bath (ooh-er, sorry girls, no photos) so we chilled at the boys' three leveled floors for awhile.

I had to go around with my camera. :) Let you have a peek at the living conditions of my guy classmates'.

l-r: Ee Chean and Ken's room.


Maxis on his bed. He shares a room with Ah Thong.


Chwan Horng's room.


Ah Thong in his room with his prized possession.


Jimmy trying to impress me. Tak jadi lah dei. And the funniest thing about him is that his mattress is a blow-up one. LOL. And it's so cute that he puts a bed sheet on it. LOL!!


The winner of the Best Room Award goes to Sett. So classy wei. Like so Japanese Zen-ish. GOT PLANT ON THE TABLE SOMEMORE..#$#$(#*$^#. The only plant I have in my room is the fungus on the ceiling. But really, his room is situated on the highest floor, and the breeze is just fantastic. Imagine his black curtains flapping in the wind as he studies Anatomy.


They even have the right mind to put a cardboard beneath the shoes! PASS!!


Normal lah..............................


The resident vegetarian belanjas everybody some papaya.


Maxis does not believe in forks.


Thanks Maxis!


While waiting for the rest to get ready, I was bored. So I took out my eyeshadows and had fun making Maxis's thigh look pretty.

Surprisingly, this time around, the bus ride was GOOD. AND FAST. Within 5 hours, I was in KL already. Yi Lin, this time no backside pimple leh!:)

I sat in between Jimmy and Ken in the bus. The benefits of being a woman. Ahh. Ken was showing me photos that the boys took while cleaning the house. And the mad things they got up to. You know they actually "WORK OUT" by climbing the OUTSIDE of the house from the ground floor to the second floor? crazy!!!


Some smart alec figured that the floor was slippery enough to play human bowling.


Yay. Goal.


Oh wow, sliding dentists.


LOL. Dental orgy.


This is the funniest picture!! LOL!! They are really sliding on the floor! Apparently one of them figured out that it hurts less to propel themselves by springing away from the wall..as compared to doing a running jump and then falling to the ground in hopes of sliding for quite a distance.

Boys.



What? Got play commando also??!


LOL! Head pain already!


One of the running jumps' demonstrators.

Hope you guys clicked on the video at the top of the entry:) Was quite nice to see the rushing water. The water level was DAMN high. An old uncle stood next to me and looked out to the river as well. He asked me, "Can you swim?" "Yes, I can," I replied. "I can't." he smiled. The both of us agreed that the river looks so beautiful with the rushing water.

It's nice to take a breather from the evening rush hour to observe things like that eh? 




Outside Masjid Jamek, while crossing the road. I know my dad will kill me if he knows what I did.


Wet wet wet..

I came back for the weekend because I had relatives who came back from the States. :| Haven't seen them in 10 years. But I guess, it doesn't really matter after you've not seen each other for 10 years. What's another 10 more years? So I came back for "me time" mostly, since the boyfriend was in Kota Kinabalu with his father. Sigh.

But I did manage to catch up with (Divine)Dennis, MunTeng, Joshua, She Dee, Jiun Jeh(apparently VERY popular in NUS now), Wai Kit, Vern Yang and OMIGOD DENNIS TAN.<-- haven't seen this dude since...secondary school.

I asked Joshua, "So, any women in your life now?"
Joshua retorted, "What woman woman all.. still young okay!!"
"Old already lah. Faster tell. How many women adi?"
"Girl lah..GIRL."

Since Joshua is still single......Watch out for him in a future pimptress post! Yea! Thanks to Wai Kit for suggesting a very appropriate name for him: "Jumping Joshua."
Dennis promises to send me some photos of Josh. He says he'll try to get some which shows Joshua slightly elevated from the ground.

-_-. Don't think Divine Dennis gets my Pimptress role....girls don't CARE if he can jump. They just want to know what desirable qualities he has. Right girls?



Cute photo of my Dad, Cousin Derek and Mervyn sleeping in the living room. That's Angel running.


Angel sees me taking a photo. And so does my father.


Angel ignores my dad's attempts to play with her.


I miss Mervyn. Actually, only to pose for the photo. Don't really miss him. :D hehehe.



Let's play Fart On The Brother.


We have a love-hate relationship.

I cannot let the location of the Pea be known. It must be protected. The mystery must go on.

The Yeast Master was an aging lady with a scarf wrapped tightly around her hair. Her skin was yellow and her eyes were sullen from the decades of searching for that one thing that most men have trouble searching for. Her rags screamed her ignorance for the material world of today for her only purpose on this Earth is one.

The Yeast Master shivers at the memory from her distant past. She vaguely remembers a hand. A sensation. THE PEA.

"You must believe me." Jolene choked as tears streamed down and mixed with the blood on her lips.

The Yeast Master still looks as if she is lost in a reverie. Smiling faintly at something that once pleased her. Her body swayed side to side and her frequency intensified as she swayed more and more.

Sensing an opportunity, Jolene crawled towards the door at the end of the room. The Yeast Master was not a foolish woman and easily strode over to Jolene and pulled her by the hair. The poor girl struggled and cried as the evil Yeast Master dragged her to the other side of the room and flung her against the wall. The back of her head made contact with the concrete wall with a deafening crack.

Despite the throbbing sensation at the back of her head, Jolene spat, "What do you want the pea for? You're nothing but a dried up old cunt. YOU DON'T NEED IT. IT WON'T FUNCTION ON YOU ANYMORE. HAHAHAHAHAHA" Jolene laughed maniacally.

Outraged, the Yeast Master grabbed the bleeding girl by her hair once more and flung her out the open window, onto the streets outside. A sickening thud was heard and a chorus of frantic screams ensued.

*

Somewhere far away, a woman's moans cut through the silence of the night.

That's the sound. Someone else KNOWS where the pea is. I must find that someone.

The Yeast Master followed the sounds. With every step she took, the moans became more audible. Soon her pace built up in rhythm with the cries of the disembodied voice.

She came upon an abandoned shack and the Yeast Master was very sure that this is the place.

*

"You know where the pea is. Tell me where the pea is." The Yeast Master demanded of the woman.

The woman was sitting at the side of a bed and had her back turned to the Yeast Master. She turned around slowly to see who had intruded her privacy. The moonlight illuminated the glistening sweat on the woman's brows and her hair plastered to the sides of her face. Her white night gown glowed even more under the moonlight. The woman turned her head a little more to make out the identity of the stranger. In the darkness, the Yeast Master could see that the woman had a glazed over look in her eyes.

It's not time to ask her questions. It's too soon.

The girl started speaking.

"Like the onset of a waterfall,
Hidden deep in the cave of greatest desires,
A passage where rose petals flow,
For just awhile under the Luna's glow."

The girl repeated it again and again. Each repetition sounding more and more like a chant.

The Yeast Master cut through her chants, "Where. is. The. pea?"

The girl's eyes danced with laughter and continued her chants.

The Yeast Master's tempers were flaring again and she lifted a hand, ready to strike the poor girl across the face. The girl stood up and grabbed her hand.

Without breaking eye contact, the girl directed the Yeast Master's hand somewhere else.

"Oh.." the Yeast Master murmured.

But Jolene has been right all along. It no longer functioned for the old lady.

The Yeast Master murdered an innocent girl's life over something so obvious. Something so...present. Something...already...belonging to the Yeast Master herself.

****

LOL. Too much of Da Vinci Code. A pathetic attempt, but an attempt to contribute none the less.

Trackbacks: (watch this space, to be updated tomorrow)
Finicky Feline
Barffie
Mei
Minishorts
S-Kay
Scarlett Ting
Sassyjan
Janedoe
Lip
Madpotato

But you know what I mean, a good read is a good read.

So, indulge!

Single and Dating in KL is a group blog by a few single KLites moaning and raving about the dating scene in KL. Not quite, but ALMOST like a KL Sex And The City. Not enough sex, but the focus is more on emotions, evaluations, judgements and well, romanticism. And a good dosage of cynicism.


Enjoy!

I know the previous blog that belongs to the blogger that I'm about to present next. Though he remains anonymous in his new blog, but I'm very sure it's the same guy. I recognise the style. All I can tell you is that he is a super senior in my secondary school. About 11 years my senior. Yea, I was in kindergarten when he was in form5. He writes really well .. kind of captivates you with his flow of words and you just drink up all that he has to offer. Another alluring fact about this Barry White of words is that he is single, CYNICAL and romantic.

Hop on over to Coffee, Cigarettes and Conversations.

Warning: addiction ensues.

Matters aside, I'd like to let you read this article my brother wrote. I told him ages ago that I'd put it up on my blog if it doesn't get into my school magazine, Gemala.

And here my brother does what he does best: Emo Love Stories.

It made me tear. Really! He put it on his blog before but I can't find the link and he doesn't want me to link him back(I have no idea why) and he got very good comments for it. Hope you guys can spare sometime and read it and prove his editors wrong.

I say it's Gemala's loss anyway. My blog gets a steadier amount(ahem, larger amount too. :P) of readership than the annual year book anyway.

I once wrote a story about a girl who had drunken sex and ended up giving her daughter away for adoption and seeing disappointment in her daughter's eyes when she was older. It got rejected because I mentioned sex.

Don't say lah... even our senior pages were rejected because some photos promoted truancy(one foot stepping out of the school gates.....), gangsterism(kids pretending to beat each other up), academic negligence(books dumped in a dustbin) and other lame ass things. You think the Malaysian censorship board is bad? You should try my old school's magazine editorial board.

Oops, I digressed again. Nah, read lah!

The road seems so long.

Hello there stranger? Are you lost too?

It took me more courage than I thought I had to introduce myself. You smiled shyly, not knowing who this boy standing in front of you was, or the special place he'd take in your heart forever. I remember how your friends giggled from behind, enjoying a romantic scene. But I didn't care what they thought, because at that moment, all I hoped was for you to acknowledge my existence.

Maybe if we walk together, we'll find where this road leads to.

Remember our first date at the movies? Ah...I shed a tear of joy each time I do. You held on to my shoulder tightly as we watched the horror flick, too afraid to watch the ghost appear. When you found out that I had my eyes closed all through the show, you wouldn't stop laughing all the way back as I drove you home. It was only when a little kiss was planted on your cheek in front of the door that you hushed, and your face turned bright red.

On the day we married, I was the happiest man on earth. There were probably no angels singing, or little white doves flying above the church as we walked out as man and wife. But I was happy, because seeing you smile and thinking that you were mine forever seemed too good to be true. And it was.

Braving the odds, we journeyed together hand in hand. Your shoulder was my strength, and your heart was my hope.

When we moved into our new home, you happily dragged me to every room, pointing out every detail of how you wanted it furnished. The room for the children that we would have must have its walls painted bright blue, with stars and planets drawn on it so that he or she would not be afraid of the dark during the night. The wall in our bedroom that blocked us from the rising sun to was to have a sliding glass door so that we could greet the new day together every morning. I laughed at how you thought our house could be turned into a romantic haven, and you pouted the entire day until I agreed to work on it immediately.

The road is uncertain. But as long as you are with me, my friend, I know that all will be alright.

On the day you passed away, I could not bring myself to accept the fact. I wanted to hit the young boy who drove without a license till he bled, so that he could feel the pain you felt. But as he kneeled on the floor in tears and begged for forgiveness, I could not bring myself to it. Dropping to my knees, I cried too. The memories of you filled my head, each one bringing another drop of tear to the pool beneath me. You were so young, and there was so much in life that awaited the both of us.

Why am I alone? I look back at the road, hoping to see you, as if you've merely tripped and was left behind, but got back on your feet and caught up with me again.

The world seemed black and lifeless. Little care had I left for anything, and only the thought of you kept me going. I visited every place in the world that reminded me of you, from where we first met at the carnival, to the city where we had our honeymoon. I cursed fate for taking you away from me, yet once again cried for it was also fate that brought us together. Was this some game that it played, bringing us with hopes to journey through life hand in hand, yet so easily breaking us apart with death?

I fall to the ground, the road's sharp slates cutting into my skin. There is nobody to pick me up again. For you are gone. And still, the road seems so long.

As I sit on our bed one day, looking through photographs of us, our little son puts his head on my lap, and says he misses you. I hug him tightly, and told him that I felt the same. Fate has denied him the love of his mother as he grew up, so I swore to myself never to let him or you down. But whenever I waited in the car to pick him up from school, or when I sat down during his wedding, I'd imagine that you were with me by my side, wearing the smile I'll never forget. Maybe you really were.

I get on my feet again, every inch raised from the ground powered by the memory and love I had with you. Still in my heart, you were with me. I dared the road once again.

Our son is by my side as I lie on the same bed we slept on. With him is his life's partner, and a little story which he and her have to write, just like we did. They are crying, but I can only help but smile. It's been so long, but I'm about to see you again.

Hey there... I believe we've met?

I finally close my eyes, with the image of our son and grandchild forever embedded into my soul. I can also see you standing beside them, smiling. Everything feels so light... and then here I am again, in an uncertain road. I can't see where it leads to, but I feel someone holding my hand, saying:

Let's see where it goes...