She picks up the phone and does silly things to bring confusion to everyone involved. Unneccesary heartaches.

If you don't understand, try having your period while you are living alone away from home and everyone and everything that matter to you.

The poor unassuming boyfriend takes the shit she lashes out.

Sorry dear, I promise to stop my emoness.

He picked me up all the way from Pudu Raya on Thursday night to save me the hassle of taking the train back with a bottle of water and a snack bar, knowing very well what I need after 5 hours of ass-pimple-producing journey. I love you for that dear. :)

After long talks, a long supper, a walk under a 3am night sky near our old primary schools(he was from Lick Hung, I was from SRSS19. Two schools situated side by side. Yet we never knew each other till secondary school.) hand in hand..


I came home to find this on my bed and felt so happy because I love little surprises. :) Little meaningful surprises.

Two mornings later, I was awoken by a stranger outside my house. I went out with just-out-of-bed hair, unbrushed teeth and old volleyball school jersey with shorts to peer sleepily at the gate.


Thank you dear. Thank you so much. You needn't have to. :) You had me at "Happy Wesak Day". :D Wonder what the florist must've thought.


That perhaps you're crazy to send something so sweet on a religious day.


It made my day. My week, my month....haha,enough to sustain me till I see you again.


I've been very petty for the past few weeks. But something bigger cropped up and I'm not going to stand in the way. He got an ASEAN scholarship to do Biological Science in NTU, Singapore. All he needs to do is pass this Thursday's interview, and he'll be there in August. A 3 years course with a 3 years bond with the Singapore government.


One.

And me? I have 4 more years here in Kedah. Another 3 years with the government and god knows where they will post me to.


Two.

As for now, the plan to do our government posting together has been scraped since he won't be graduating as a pharmacist in Malaysia.


Three.

Embarking on another period of long distance relationship. The minimum amount of years would be about 7 - 8 years.


Four.

I'll be 26 or 27 years old or more before I know what it's like to have something most of you have everyday.


Five.

=) He made me see that all hope is not lost. As we'll co-ordinate our schedules to see each other often enough.


Six.

Two weeks. Two buses. North of Malaysia. South of Malaysia.


Seven.

I will miss him. :|


Eight.

No one should stand in the way of anybody's education.


Nine.

Because even if you promise someone Forever, things can still turn around and break away.


Ten.

It's still bad, but at least it's only Singapore and Malaysia.


Eleven.

And my mum said I can visit him in Singapore whenever. :D


Twelve.

I'll probably appeal and appeal to the government to send me to Johor after I graduate.


Here's to us, cheers:)


Why can't roses stay soft, sweet smelling and pretty forever?


=) Another bouquet to stand the wear of time.


l-r: Valentine's Day bouquet from him back in form4(2002), Valentine's Day Bouquet from him back in form5(2003). Yes, I have dead things in my room that's about 4 years and 3 years old. LOL.I swear if you flick the roses, they'll break into powder form and fall to the floor. I should have kept last year's Valentine's Day bouquet. Too bad my mum made me put it into a vase and it decomposed. ;(

See the rationale?

And guys? I will pimp you if I'm the one who asks you for your permission. I've accepted requests from people close to me because, well they are close to me. *hugs those who are close to me* If I don't know you very well.. it's just not fun to pimp lah. But from now on, requests are closed. My email address is solely for obtaining more information on my sweet bachelor boys.

Peace.

I'm sorry if I've been playing dangle-the-carrot-in-front-of-the-bunnies for too long, but I need to wait for the enthusiasm to settle in before I attempt another post right? I've been scouring high and low for my single guy friends. And some friends even requested to be pimped. Whoever who requests get their mugs up first.

What I'm trying to do is just to put your everyday-boy-next door type out to the market and highlight things about them that I've noticed. It's fun because I know these boys, and I know them well. Though some I've only known for awhile, I try my best to highlight that sweet little something that all girls desire in their ideal guy.

However, no pimptress photos this time around. :P I left my hat back in Kedah so the effect just won't be the same without it. Next round there'll be photos of your lovely pimptress..and business has been VERY GOOD. I've even bought myself a shawl to go with the whole Lady Mafia Boss look. Hahaha.

Yee Hou got the ball rolling(just like Calvin in the previous post) so his face will get to go up first.;)

Tan Yee Hou is a 19 year old business student in Monash Malaysia. However, I've only known him for less than a month but I'll try to highlight what I have observed. Eager, sweet and willing, the perfect candidate to tie up in bed get to know. Hehe. As far as I know, he is not those ugh-i'm-not-talking-to-you-plain jane arrogant types. These breed of men is fast disappearing from the face of the Earth.  

Can you help him?

For more information on Yee Hou..
Please email me at jolenelai@gmail.com with the subject: Tantalizing Tan Yee Hou

I need more men.

So I scrolled through my MSN list and frantically messaging a handful at a go, "OEI STILL SINGLE KE..?".. lol. What a way to start off conversations. Tsk, tsk. Some tact.

Victim number 1:

Miss Lai: MATTY ARE U STILL SINGLE.....
Miss Lai: matttttyyyeeeeeeewwww *NUDGE*
Matthew: hie hiee!  lol sorry, your nudges are ineffective, muahahaha being single  
               is no crime. *pokes*
Miss Lai: Are you still single?! Question! Hahaha Answer me!!
Matthew: Well yea, no want ones.
Miss Lai: LOL Bullshit, if I am single, you'd be in trouble. Listen. Go read my blog.
Matthew: *whinnnes*
Miss Lai: I want to pimp you as a sexy bachelor on my blog.
Matthew: What's that? Pardon my ignorance. Riggght... that's not gonna work.
               *pokes you again* wah you gave them all little nicknames.
Miss Lai: Yeah, you'll get yours too. M.... mm.. I'll think of something. Magnificient
               Matthew or Magical Matthew.
Matthew: Ceh wah! I like..no wait, not the magical one.


Matthew Ong Yi Khai. 21 years old Mass Communication student in Taylor's College Petaling Jaya and is currently doing his internship with NTV7. A lad who appreciates the finer things in life, the finer music, the finer wine,...the list goes on. Did I mention that he sings extremely well? He was the voice coach for the cast of Taylor's College's Society of Performing Arts' 2004 Production: Hip Hopera. Some of you may have heard of The ComeBackKings. They played a huge role in putting up Hip Hopera for the masses. Matthew is down to earth, a very very important criteria.


With camwhoring abilities such as these, his photography skills are amazing as well.
Hop over to his blog to see more photos! (His link can be found on my side bar).


I like the fact that he is humble and is always eager to be friendly to you.
Confession on my part: I was the make up artist for Hip Hopera 2004 and Matthew had a part in the play. So I thought he was damn cute and decided to do his make up. At the same time, I took the opportunity to molest his face because I had to "uh, smudge the blusher abit more.." and caressed his cheeks and chin and nose........didn't wanna wash hand after that. Wakakakkaa.


And com'n, who can resist a guy with a sense of humour?!

For more information on Matthew..
Please email me at jolenelai@gmail.com with the subject: MAGICAL Matthew. (HAHAHA, I win, matthew. As it is MY blog after all.)

Victim/Sweet Bachelor Number 2:

Miss Lai: Korkorbear!!! Are you still single?!!
Dennis: Hey Joeybear..Yea why?
Miss Lai: YAYY..
Dennis: You not in single club also why you yay?
Miss Lai:can I pimp you on my blog? I've gotten Josh in on it too. I'm looking
              for nice single guy friends.
Dennis: Wtf?!
Miss Lai: HAHAHAH EXACTLY HIS REACTION.
Dennis: Wtf what do you mean pimp? You wanna pimp your KKB?!!
Miss Lai: hahaha haiyo go see my blog la
Dennis: How can you do this to me?
Miss Lai: It'll put a smile on the other bears' faces.(We are part of one happy bear family. Long story.)
Dennis: LOL Jo jo jo jo jo...you are really something special. Yeah, it's a good
             laugh. .....BUT I DON'T WANNA BE A GOOD LAUGH!!! Lol..okok la do
             whatever you want. You want my pic ar?
Miss Lai: HAHAHA..I want i want.. YAY. I make the girls so so happy. Sexy Dennis.
              Yummey.


Dennis Chan Fong Hoong.A 22 year old who is just fresh out from ACCA(professional accounting course.. no matter how many times he explains it to me, it still goes out my other ear). This guy is like the big brother I never had. I used to have SO MUCH respect for him(not that I've ever stopped respecting him) that I never dared to do my dirty jokes on him.. hahaha it's a whole different story now though. Popular, smart, sincere... heck, he was a LIVING legend in my primary school. Being the head prefect of SRSS19 back in 1996, this little puny 9 year old student was already in awe of The Dennis Chan Of SRSS19 Subang Jaya.

Reliable, street smart, the perfect gentleman, the perfect son in law......

There is NOT a single mother/grandmother in my gang of friends that is not madly in love with him. I am serious. Melody's grandmother is a good example for one.

To add to the effect, I interviewed my own mother.

Me: Mum, what do you think of Dennis?
Mum: Obedient...well mannered..pleasant.


Did you know that he had a modelling stint once? *snigger snigger together-gether with Melody who had an Internship with Seventeen*
Many thanks to Miss Tham Wai Ping for the photo!! (She was the only one online at 1.30am who seemed most likely to collect every issue of Seventeen Magazine.:P We love girly magazines!! My copy is back in Kedah..so I had to ask her to help me out.:))


I don't know about you, but being funny is so so so important in a guy. If you're not funny, please go die. :) But so far all the guys I've pimped are fun and funny. Hence they get pimped, because, they're worth it. :)

For more information on Dennis,
Please email me at jolenelai@gmail.com with the subject: Divine Dennis

Victim/Sexy Bachelor 4:

Miss Lai: Shall I Pimp You?!?!
Guan Lim: Hello.
Miss Lai: Hello? Can I pimp you?
Guan Lim: What's the matteR? I just pangsai-ed. What pimp? You are selling
                 bachelors ar?
Miss Lai: Hahaha ya. Are you one?
Guan Lim: Yea I'm one. What are you gonna write about me? I've only met you like
                 three times. Aren't you gonna interview me first or something?
Miss Lai: Okayyyeee...what are you studying? What are your qualities? How would
               you please a woman?
Guan Lim: hahahha..your new blog idea is so wtf. What else you want to know? I
                 was born on the 29th of October 1986..
Miss Lai: Haiyo no need so detailed lah. What are your qualities? What are your
               promises to a woman?
Guan Lim: My philosophy is like buddhist. Promise nothing therefore deliver
                 everything. Not like *not good to say other people's religion*, promise
                 everything and deliver nothing.
Miss Lai: Hahahahha set.
Guan Lim: If you're gonna write about me, it has to be goddamn fucking long.
Miss Lai: *rolls eyes*
Guan Lim: If not wasted all my effort of being sold. Ok more questions pls.
Miss Lai: Cis. I invite you dah kira honoured lah! Bising!! Okay, what are you 
               looking for in a girl?
Guan Lim: My dream girl? Oh well I'm a sad case person. When lighting strikes, I'll
                 like that someone for a long long time. The girl who can make me smile.
                 The girl who can make my heart beat damn fast, is who I am looking for.
Miss Lai: Okay, great.
Guan Lim: More questions please. my profile not half done also.
Miss Lai: YOU'RE NOT GETTING A WHOLE NOVEL LA!!!


Ng Guan Lim is a 20 years old economic and finance student in Hong Kong University in well, Hong Kong! HONG KONG! Whoever goes to beautiful Hong Kong to study? Some people are just so lucky. Eloquent, articulate and talkative are definitely qualities you would find in Guan Lim. As you can tell from the above conversation script, he is a big ngam cham. hahaha.
If you're worried about silent moments or awkward gaps in conversation, this fella can fill them up with his various stories.

Like there was once when I bumped into him at my local hair salon, and he sat next to me (while I was getting my hair washed) and entertained me with all his Hong Kong anecdotes. LOL.


Guan Lim is a well mannered, well spoken young fella.



This is his current hairstyle by the way. The whole Shaolin Monk thing must be something hot in Hong Kong now.*pimptress is NOT in touch with Hong Kong fashion*

For more information on Guan Lim,
Please email me at jolenelai@gmail.com with the subject as: Gimme Guan Lim

ALRIGHT folks, sorry for the long wait. I have like another 4-8 more bachelors to pimp. So, I'll be back. In the mean time I hope to post more personal posts too.:P

I have lined up quite a number of guys(heck, I even have to divide them into batches... I think 4 guys per post is ideal. Not too few, not too many.) for you girls. It was quite fun going around my MSN messenger and starting off conversations with "HOI..ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?!!"

So stay tuned!

In the mean time, the pimptress(how to spell ah actually? Pimpstress or pimptress??) needs to set her priorities straight. :) Studies come first yeah, sorry girls. (and gay boys, if there are any).

Besides pimping guyfriends and studying, I've been experiencing period pains(I have to blog this because I usually refer to my previous blog entries to see when my last period arrived. Very useful.) and cooking dinner almost every other night. Lie Yuen and I even invited Andy, Pei Zhi and Xin Yi over for dinner. Hehehehe.


Pei Zhi posing with the home cooked food.


Lie Yuen cooked her trademark dish. I have to say that it was sort of my fault that she had to repeat it as I used up all the prawns and she wanted to cook some with her eggs.


Four drumsticks.. but paiseh to share among six people. So we shredded the chicken.


Ta-da!! First fry the onion rings with garlic. Marinate the prawns with sugar and salt and after that wash it off before throwing it in to the pan to cook together with the onion rings. A few dollops of oyster sauce is added. Followed by much more tomato sauce to make the gravy. Mmm. Garnish with spring onions for aesthetic purposes.

My mother teach me one. :) *beams proudly*

AND IT TASTES GOOD OKAY. ASK LIE YUEN!


Nothing so difficult about this. I made mixed vegetables and threw in bits of luncheon meat for that meaty taste.


l-r: Andy who is in doubt of our cooking, Pei Zhi, Xin Yi and fellow chef Lie Yuen.

For desert we had konyaku jelly!!


Blue tray for Longan. Red tray for Strawberry. Green tray for Kiwi. Pure coincidence.


I even bought plastic cupcake cups to make my jellies.


Ready to be popped into the fridge to chill.


After a tiring day at university, cups and cups of konyaku jelly awaits in the depths of the fridge to appease your tastebuds. Ahhh.