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Tuesday, April 19, 2005
I Applied For The Position Of A Living Goddess

After my biology homework yesterday, I logged onto #malaysiabloggers and had quite a fun time chatting with them on IRC. Soon, everyone logged off and I got bored. I actually headed into #mamak to see if it is still alive after my last visit which was ...let's see.. I was 12.. um, Yeah 6 years ago!

Obviously there were the usual cyber-sex junkies but I came upon a VERY interesting weirdo.

<interesting weirdo> are u interested in a secret society?
<Jayelle> lol what secret society?
<interesting weirdo> something like goddess worship
<Jayelle> lol ohh what's the majority's race of this society?
<interesting weirdo> well..all malaysian
<Jayelle> lol malay indian or chinese?
<interesting weirdo> well..i bet chinese
<Jayelle> lol so.. what kind of goddess?
<interesting weirdo> well..i really interested in creating a living goddess worship group
where the follower who into living goddess worship
<Jayelle> the goddess is a real human being?
<interesting weirdo> yes
<Jayelle> lol what's her name?
<interesting weirdo> no..so far i dont have one
<Jayelle> oh..can i be ur living goddess?
<interesting weirdo> and..frankly..the group have not being created
<Jayelle> yeahh..how many interested members?
<interesting weirdo> well..i really want to propose to u..do u interested to be goddess
..living goddess ..so the members can worship u
<Jayelle> oh so what must i wear?
<interesting weirdo> u are free to wear anything u wan no rules on that u are the rules
<Jayelle> i can wear tuxedo with miniskirt?
<interesting weirdo> if u think that wear can make u looks like a goddes go ahead but..i need to recrut members first. do u mind if the members are malay, chinese or indian?
<Jayelle> yea it;s coool:) will there be food for me? presents?
<interesting weirdo> goddess's command. members should obey!
<Jayelle> i want ipod
<interesting weirdo> but i think u should create bible for members
<Jayelle> ok settle
<interesting weirdo> hmm..may i know ur asl?
<Jayelle> 29 f kj
<interesting> i younger than u. 25 m puchong
<Jayelle> ohh..so kenot b ur goddess ar?
<interesting weirdo> can u accept me to be ur prist
<Jayelle> see how la!~
<interesting weirdo> u really interested or not..again i ask u
<Jayelle> got brochure to see ar
<interesting weirdo> what brochure? worshiping a real living goddess is the coolest thing on earth
<Jayelle> wooooo
<interesting weirdo> especially that women sit infront of the members and all members bow to worship her. gosh..that's cool
<Jayelle> can i dance the macarena ah?
<interesting weirdo> u are the goddess u are the rules do whatever u want
<Jayelle> all the members must come in chicken costumes and come bearing kfc
<interesting weirdo> u sound not serious
<Jayelle> quite serious leh
<interesting weirdo> eh..u got picture of urs. can we trade?
<Jayelle> goddess' rule. no picture trading
<interesting weirdo> hey..the group not form yet :P
<Jayelle> ahh but i am ur goddess
<interesting weirdo> we need to do formally and endose that u are my goddess
<Jayelle> oh right...
<interesting weirdo> than..after that..i'm ur prist
<Jayelle> ohhhh like that wan issit. u buy ur clothes already ah?
<interesting weirdo> prist cloth? eh..u chinese?
<Jayelle> yeaaa
<interesting weirdo> are u ok i'm malay. a malay prist
<Jayelle> oh sure cool. what bout ur own god?
<interesting weirdo> well..i'll convert to our religion..after we do formally
<Jayelle> okiiiee
<interesting weirdo> so can we trade picture?
<Jayelle> i told you already the goddess say NO lorh.don't understand the Goddess ar?
<interesting weirdo> aiya..u are not a goddess yet la. come on. i just wanna see my future goddess's face
<Jayelle> *nods* understandable. eh goddess want to sleep. 2am already u know. u also go sleep. little boy. 25 years old:) cheh cheh want to tidur liao
<Jayelle> chou tau. that's good night in cantonese.
<interesting weirdo> how to contact u. picture pleaseeeee. picture pleaseeeee
<Jayelle> na-ah, girl, it's mi-ine. not- yours. mi-ine.
<interesting weirdo> how to contact u. gimme ur phone no
<Jayelle> told u already looo.. NO NEED leh:) goodnight
<interesting weirdo> than u serious or not
<Jayelle> i just want to eat KFC and wear tuxedos.:(
<interesting weirdo> n

LOL I think I failed my interview.

Abby would have loved to be with me to do this. When she was around, we'd disturb those pesky guys on Yahoo! Pool or Skype by taking on alter egos and getting them all worked up and then they get very afraid and hurrily bid their goodbyes. LOL.

I'll quote from my memory..
typical pervert: So is your crotch hairy?
us cheeky girls: Eh, can TIE into ponytail wei, don't play play. They don't call me PetPunZel for nothing.
typical pervert: oooo..
us cheeky girls: by the way, are you ok with me being a man?
typical pervert: shit

Obviously you know whose idea it was more of. *waves hand in the air* Abby is very innocent, okay!
Dei, Abby, come home soon and we'll play more!

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 12:59:49 pm
   (14) glitter balls rolling.  | 

Monday, April 18, 2005
Things I Wish I Had Known At 14

After hearing about Hsien and Chien's siblings being more matured than their peers plainly because they have older siblings who instilled a sense of maturity in their heads, Mel and I started to ponder. All four of us are the oldest in the family and same goes for alot of the other Dahlings.:) So we must've seemed REALLY immature back at 14 since we did not have any older siblings to show us the ropes.

But I guess we were okay.. in a way we had Big Sister Figures in our cousins. Mine was Cousin Jacq and Mel's was her Cousin Syl Fyn. We hung out with our cousins so much in our formative years. I don't know about Mel, but I can tell you during those times I copied exactly what my cousin Jacq did. She had an email that read, jacqueline_17@hotmail.com and the moment I went on the internet I registered, Jolene_17@hotmail.com. That was 7 years ago. She wore black, I wore black. She liked Leonardo Dicaprio, I also thought, "yea, Leonardo Dicaprio's cool. Man, he's hot.". Are all little girls like that? I guess in a way it's a form of flattery.

So, on the ride back from Sg. Wang, Mel and I compiled a list. We started off laughing at Liss' comment back in form2 stating, "Eh, guys only have one ball right?"..

... and that line became our tag phrase for many many many years... and many many more years to come.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA.

So here goes. You can read the first part of the list in Mel's blog.

Things You Should Know When You're 14 Part 2

1. Not everybody laughs when you pour water on them.

2. If you think a guy is cute, it doesn't mean he thinks you're cute too.

3. The scariest teachers are usually the nicest teachers at the end of the day.

4. You start to see how similiar you are to your parents.

5. You should already know every trick on how to bully your siblings into making you happy.

6. There is no such thing as studying one subject at a time.

7. Not everybody likes you.

8. Armpit hair is ugly. Really. *those who remember..*nudge, nudge**

9. Braces makes the world a better place at the end of the day.

10. It's time to throw away the Kikilala clothes.

11. Keeping sanitary pads in your bag is a good idea.

12. Never sit with your legs wide open under the lab tables.

13. The guys in your form will eventually grow to be as "matured" as the senior guys.

14. You really have to lock the toilet door when you're using it. Yes. Really.
15. Prefects are power hungry, but they'll resume human-hood after the elections.

16. Long fringes are so not cool. Especially for guys.

17. Bring your own salt to school.

18. Not all female seniors are nice.

19. Some of the best friends you'll ever have are also your female seniors.

20. Some female juniors are extremely friendly because you're A SENIOR. The novelty dies off when they realise they are just as smart/knowledgable as you. Then you're back to being a nobody. *shrugs*

21. It's very normal to have a crush on every decent male senior.

22. Blowing bubbles in the middle of the road will degenerate your reputation. Especially if you're a senior.

23. Wearing hot pants and spaggheti tees will make guys in your form who have yet to know you(Kay Hong and Zhuo Yan in 2000 and 2001 respectively) think you're a slutty senior.

24. Always be careful when talking bad about someone through ICQ/SMS. You never know if you could accidentally send it to the bitchee him/herself.

25. Girls and guys CAN be friends.

26. Oil films are not Listerine Pocket Paks. Oil films are NOT edible. - directed to a guy who was in SMSJ.

27. People can tell if you don't wash your hair for more than two days.

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 12:51:51 pm
   (6) glitter balls rolling.  | 



Ben Shyen's Birthday Party

Ben Shyen celebrated his 21st birthday party at Pan Bakery in SS15. The cafe's owner's son,Ariel, happens to be a good friend of Ben Shyen AND happens to know about my handphone in my bra story. Yes. It's a legend, a myth, spread far.

Why, the last time I saw Ben Shyen was a good three months ago but it was nice of him to still remember us little girlies. Ben Shyen will always remain as popular..nothing can change that. Be it among his christian friends, IMU friends or us old SMSU-ians, Ben Shyen will always be Ben Shyen. Though the trademark Ham Sap Ben Shyen is gone, part of his wackiness and shameless-in-a-good-way self is still very much what makes him, him. By the way, I was just chatting on msn with him half an hour ago and he said that he will be my gynae in the future. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yes. He will make a good doctor. But how will I ever be able to look at him in the eye again after he has peered into my Folds Of Passion? Future reunions will never be the same.

 
 Here's what we got him. I'm proud to say that he really really likes the white tie!

The crowd.


 l-r: Liss, Mel, Esther, Me, Mun Teng


 l-r: Yuen Fatt, Liss, Ben Shyen, Me, Mel, Esther, Mun Teng

BWahhahahaha...there was a wasp on my cup and Liss was like grabbing my arm asking me to kill it. ... I swatted it away and it ended up in her cup and drowned.


 Liss was damn scared.


 Yuen Fatt and Me.


 Vjay and Mel


 Esther and Me


 Oooh! the three of us;) l-r: Esther, mel and Me. I so need to dye my hair, but I won't. Money, you know. :(


 My favourite Third Leg.


 Dennis and Mel are the only two people in the world who would continue to murder a papaya so that I can take a photo of their silly antics.


l-r: Third Leg, Yuen Fatt, Dennis


 top l-r: Ying Mei, Dennis, Joshua, Yuen Fatt, Me, Esther, Ben Shyen
 bottom l-r: Liss, Mun Teng, Vjay, Mel


 Vern Yang!


 Mel asked me to pinch her boyfriend's ass and this is his reaction. After I pinched his ass.


top l-r: Ying Mei and Me.
 bottom l-r: Mel, Liss, Esther, Mun Teng.


 Third Leg and Esther.


 Ben Shyen giving the obligatory birthday speech.


 Here he is, singing a song for his mother whose birthday is a day before his.


 Too bad no one was near enough to push his head into the cake.


 The view from upstairs. Pan Bakery seems like a nice place. I've never been there though.


 Mel and Liss pulling faces behind a glass window.


 Myself and the birthday boy!


 Ben Shyen and Liss.


 Ying Mei and Dennis


 l-r: Mel, Me, Ben Shyen, Esther, Liss.


 l-r: Me, Esther and Liss

Well, Ben Shyen, here's to you, if you ever read my blog.. A very happy 21st birthday. *hugs*

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 2:43:13 am
   (6) glitter balls rolling.  | 

Next Page

Hi, my name is Jolene and if there is a question in your head, this answer will definitely answer it: I was wrong and irrational. I was being a woman.

Jolene Lai, Jolene Lai,
Came to life in January and not July,
She is 19 years of age,
Can't wait to earn her own wage,
This dental student is home sick,
Will never be in Kedah for more than three weeks.

Subang Jaya is where she's from,
The only place she'll ever call home.
Has a boyfriend, a brother and a dog,
The things she says can give you a shock.

Especially for her father, who always gets a heart attack when he reads this blog.

Hey, rhymes!
 
Why The National Service Entries Ended.

My favourite posts:
Please Don't Take My Orange Away (9/03/05)
Flasher On MSN! (28/4/05)
Looking Back From Where They Left Off (8/10/05)
A Bottle Of My Bestest Friends In The Whole Wide World!(13/2/06)
Diary Extracts For Him From The Yesteryears (23/3/06)



Love proclamations and hate mails can go to jolenelai@gmail.com
Money can be sent to an address upon request.

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