He sounded frustrated and said that he can't find any spare parts for my laptop as it was too old.(november 2003).

So he said, "I'm getting you a new one lah."

I felt so incredibly guilty. You know usually you'll be damn happy when you get something grand like this from your parents? I could not.

He asked me not to spend so much money ..and the tone was one of grief and disappointment.

I could only say that I was sorry and that I was very grateful before putting down the phone quietly. I was really upset about making him upset. My human developmental notes became a tearry blur. Go and condemn me for being such a baby. But it's just the guilt lar.

I always fuck up and cost him money. In 2004, it was the road bully who extorted RM500 off me. in 2005, it was that minor car accident in USJ3 which cost a further RM470.

Now, this.

JOLENE LAI PEI SHAN~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But actually I'm feeling better because dad called me again today during biochemistry class to let me know that the comp's coming in two weeks. I said sorry again and he said, "it's not your fault..just work harder in your studies."

Hehe, I'm feeling much better now. My father has a strange effect on me.

I actually feel sad letting go of my Acer 290. I mean back when I was in Subang with wireless installed in the house, I used to touch it first thing in the morning and it would be the last thing I see before I sleep. I'd lug it around the house and put it on my lap. It had more lap-time with me compared to Angel who would scratch it due to jealousy.

Then in national service I even requested for my parents to bring my laptop for me to hold and touch during one of the visiting days. In university, I'm the girl with the horrid backpack and I don't really care because it had my laptop inside.

I will miss my laptop so much..........I'm serious. It's like I won't feel right if I don't see it for just one last time.

Can you actually get emotionally attached to an electronical item? This must be one of the evolutions of human relationships in the digital age.

Since I'm feeling happier, I'll post photos of myself. Even if I get kutuked for the ugliness of it all, I'm still cool.

Ok, I need to go poo now. Bye.

Maybe I had too much fun back home and when all the fun things in life suddenly come to a halt, depression hits hard. This happened to me too when I was in national service. Suddenly, no more nights out. No more tv. No more internet.

I wish I have my own car here so I don't have to rely on my housemates to do petty things like making my phoneline/internet arrangements/buying snacks whenever i want/eating whatever I want.

I fucking wish for my laptop back.

Lishen's really kind to let me use her comp but she'll need to use her desk sometimes too. I'll be like blogging halfway and she's like, "Sorry Jolene, I need to use the table."

Of course I'm gracious about it. But I cannot help feeling so bloody down.

I go downstairs and face my (empty) study table and my stacks of notes that doesn't look at all appealing.

What can make me happy again?

I mean I've had the good fortune to have a computer of my own and go online whenever I want, whatever time of the day. And talk to all those who are dear to me. Sigh.

I just lost all my mood when my computer died. No chocolate can undo this misery.

Why oh why oh why oh why.

My dad's considering getting a hard disk from his friend's older Acer model(older model than mine!!) and putting it in mine. I am of course fine with whatever he offers me but I got so depressed to learn that I was downgrading.

I hope my brother can put in a good word for me and throw in some computer lingo that will help me with my plight.

I will NEED an external hard disk after this whole fiasco. Backup everything so no shit dares to splatter on me again.

Oh, did I mention that my laptop will only be fixed in three weeks? And did I mention that my hostel contract comes to an end in four weeks?

And that we want to shift out? And that you have to tell telecom a week in advance to remove the phone line and streamyx to install in your new place?

OH. and that we don't have a place to stay yet?

Fuck man.

It was okay la..nothing much to scream about. Real crappy entertainment on board(singers in tarty clothes who are older than my parents combined) and the only good part about the entire thing was some of my night shots and oh, this delicious plate of the most tender kangkung shoots that I've ever tasted. It's baby green and soft and just so kangkung-y. Too delicious, hence, forgot to take a snap shot.

While waiting for the cab outside our hotel, there were two mascots who were wishing the guests "Merry Christmas". Yup, I actually CAMWHORED with them. Hahaha.


Family photo..l-r: Grandma, Brother, Mum, Dad and Myself


Mum wanted one with the mascots as well.


Another one!

it was raining all night long but I managed this shot.


The steps up..


Grandma was getting bored..


Dad was filming every little bit of thing. Like father, like son, like daughter.


They have a few other floating restaurants... it looks pretty..and silly at the same time.


Another family photo.

We had dinner with Dad's company's General Manager of Asia Pasific Sales, Daniel. The guy's Malaysian but he's based in Vietnam for a few months and I think he came back to Malaysia last week because he needed to get his MyKad done.


Strange way of putting the food


Sweaty Santa Claus


We cruised near a harbour..


See the pretty lights?


We were heading back to the city again. I love the effect of the lights.


As it was Christmas eve, christmas paraphernalia everywhere!!


The night view from my room.